An excerpt from Almir's and my conversation over Chinese food tonight at Wok-In.....
Me: Yeah, so my friend Tyler went to church this morning in China. He said it was really weird but I was just surprised because I thought that, you know, Christianity is like outlawed in China.
Almir: It is?
Me: Well yeah, I think so...I mean you can't bring Bibles into the country as far as I know.
Almir: ............Isn't that called "discrimination?"
Me: No, that's called "communism."
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Sigh...
Sigh............
Is it bad that one of the only things I can think about right now is how much I'd like to fast-forward my life 8 months, to late July, so I can have the experience of going home?
It's hard to put into words, but it's just such a strange feeling being here. I love it and I hate it at the same time. I know that I'm supposed to be having the time of my life, and I'm having fun and all, but....it's not THAT amazing. At this moment I have almost zero motivation to travel, almost zero motivation to see anything....If left to my own devices I might not do anything at all. And all this time all I can think about is how badly I want the year to be over, not so much because I want to go home, but because I want to know what it's going to feel like to leave this place and finally go home. I want to be able to appreciate home in a different light. To feel like a stranger in my own hometown. I want to know what it's going to feel like when the plane touches down in Seattle and I realize that it's over. How amazing that's going to be!
And I hate the fact that I'm having those thoughts and feelings because I know that I should be out there enjoying this year and sucking every bit of the marrow out of it and just having the time of my life.....but I just can't seem to really do that right now and I don't know why. I wanted to fall in love with Germany this year, but instead I've fallen in love with home. There's nothing that will make you appreciate your life, your friends, your family, your university more than leaving all of them behind.
I guess I'm just worried that I'm going to wake up someday soon and it will be July and the year will be over and I'll realize that I spent the whole 11 months wishing I was at home. I'm afraid my German won't be any better, that I won't have made a lot of German friends that I'll get to stay in contact with over here, and that when all is said and done I'll feel like I wasted the year. That I'll live with the haunting feeling that if I had only just bucked up, sucked it up, and gotten out there, I might have had the year of my life and now it's over and there isn't a second chance.
I've said it before, but it's just as true now as it was then: this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
Is it bad that one of the only things I can think about right now is how much I'd like to fast-forward my life 8 months, to late July, so I can have the experience of going home?
It's hard to put into words, but it's just such a strange feeling being here. I love it and I hate it at the same time. I know that I'm supposed to be having the time of my life, and I'm having fun and all, but....it's not THAT amazing. At this moment I have almost zero motivation to travel, almost zero motivation to see anything....If left to my own devices I might not do anything at all. And all this time all I can think about is how badly I want the year to be over, not so much because I want to go home, but because I want to know what it's going to feel like to leave this place and finally go home. I want to be able to appreciate home in a different light. To feel like a stranger in my own hometown. I want to know what it's going to feel like when the plane touches down in Seattle and I realize that it's over. How amazing that's going to be!
And I hate the fact that I'm having those thoughts and feelings because I know that I should be out there enjoying this year and sucking every bit of the marrow out of it and just having the time of my life.....but I just can't seem to really do that right now and I don't know why. I wanted to fall in love with Germany this year, but instead I've fallen in love with home. There's nothing that will make you appreciate your life, your friends, your family, your university more than leaving all of them behind.
I guess I'm just worried that I'm going to wake up someday soon and it will be July and the year will be over and I'll realize that I spent the whole 11 months wishing I was at home. I'm afraid my German won't be any better, that I won't have made a lot of German friends that I'll get to stay in contact with over here, and that when all is said and done I'll feel like I wasted the year. That I'll live with the haunting feeling that if I had only just bucked up, sucked it up, and gotten out there, I might have had the year of my life and now it's over and there isn't a second chance.
I've said it before, but it's just as true now as it was then: this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
Monday, November 7, 2005
Here Goes Nothing
We're starting a new week. I have t-minus 2.5 hours till my medieval German seminar and I still haven't translated this poem (which was our homework). I probably should do that.
Another week, another 7 days of the good life.
I need coffee.
Guitar is coming along WONDERFULLY. I can now switch between the 4 chords without looking, although I have to go very slowly. I have also learned that in order to play guitar you have to be the type of person who can tolerate playing and hearing the same thing over and over and over again.
Fortunately, I am just such a person.
Unforunately, the people living next to, below, and above me are not.
--edit--
I feel a need to keep writing. So how exactly IS the good life going, you may ask? Well, it's how the Germans describe something when it's "good" -- they say it's "okay." And it is. It's okay. It's life. I really don't know what else to say. I mean.....it's just...the daily grind. Sort of. Life is so much slower here that it's hard to feel like it's "the daily grind." I do less, but I think I the focus here has been more on quality than quantity. For example, I've been learning guitar, which is something I never would have had time for at ASU. Schoolwork has, thus far, occupied so little of my time that I'm getting worried. But I'm beginning to see why everyone has no homework during the semester and then is M.I.A. for the two weeks leading up to exams and papers -- all the work comes at the end.
The majority of my friends are still Americans and other internationals, and I am still not quite comfortable with this, but I'm getting there. I have loosened my priorities and my goals so much. I had originally intended to go cold turkey 100% immersion, but I've realized that's literally impossible here. I will be speaking at least some English every day whether I like it or not. Furthermore, it's simply more likely that I'm going to be closer with the other exchange students, partly because we're all sharing the same experience and partly because the Germans are so ridiculously hard to befriend. One of the DAAD people said that American friendships are like peaches. They're soft on the outside and thus easy to penetrate, but the core is a hard seed that is difficult to bore into. Germans, he said, are like coconuts. The outer shell is hard and seemingly impenetrable, but once you get through that, it's soft and juicy. Or milky. Whatever.
At any rate, I would sure love to know how the heck you crack open the coconut, because I'm not having a lot of success so far. I'm about ready to just ask a German, "Excuse me, but how the hell do you make friends here?" It's sure not like in the States, where I can spontaneously call up someone and say, "Hey, you wanna get coffee/food/whatever?" Germans seem to want to have planned appointments beforehand, and I have yet to see any German friends doing anything one-on-one. Just some observations.
Anyway I had a long thing after that about the whole politics subect, but sorry guys, I deleted it. I'm going to chew on that a little longer myself.
Another week, another 7 days of the good life.
I need coffee.
Guitar is coming along WONDERFULLY. I can now switch between the 4 chords without looking, although I have to go very slowly. I have also learned that in order to play guitar you have to be the type of person who can tolerate playing and hearing the same thing over and over and over again.
Fortunately, I am just such a person.
Unforunately, the people living next to, below, and above me are not.
--edit--
I feel a need to keep writing. So how exactly IS the good life going, you may ask? Well, it's how the Germans describe something when it's "good" -- they say it's "okay." And it is. It's okay. It's life. I really don't know what else to say. I mean.....it's just...the daily grind. Sort of. Life is so much slower here that it's hard to feel like it's "the daily grind." I do less, but I think I the focus here has been more on quality than quantity. For example, I've been learning guitar, which is something I never would have had time for at ASU. Schoolwork has, thus far, occupied so little of my time that I'm getting worried. But I'm beginning to see why everyone has no homework during the semester and then is M.I.A. for the two weeks leading up to exams and papers -- all the work comes at the end.
The majority of my friends are still Americans and other internationals, and I am still not quite comfortable with this, but I'm getting there. I have loosened my priorities and my goals so much. I had originally intended to go cold turkey 100% immersion, but I've realized that's literally impossible here. I will be speaking at least some English every day whether I like it or not. Furthermore, it's simply more likely that I'm going to be closer with the other exchange students, partly because we're all sharing the same experience and partly because the Germans are so ridiculously hard to befriend. One of the DAAD people said that American friendships are like peaches. They're soft on the outside and thus easy to penetrate, but the core is a hard seed that is difficult to bore into. Germans, he said, are like coconuts. The outer shell is hard and seemingly impenetrable, but once you get through that, it's soft and juicy. Or milky. Whatever.
At any rate, I would sure love to know how the heck you crack open the coconut, because I'm not having a lot of success so far. I'm about ready to just ask a German, "Excuse me, but how the hell do you make friends here?" It's sure not like in the States, where I can spontaneously call up someone and say, "Hey, you wanna get coffee/food/whatever?" Germans seem to want to have planned appointments beforehand, and I have yet to see any German friends doing anything one-on-one. Just some observations.
Anyway I had a long thing after that about the whole politics subect, but sorry guys, I deleted it. I'm going to chew on that a little longer myself.
Saturday, November 5, 2005
Well...
It's 12:02 pm local time, I woke up at 9:30 and haven't moved from my computer yet. You all know what this means: long rambling introspective post. It's been a while, so why not?
The tree outside my window is looking very sad without most of its leaves. It reminds me of those mangy stray dogs you sometimes see on the street, knowing that they would look so much healthier if somone would just give them a bath.
Life is going really well right now. I am having a good time in Germany. Classes are okay, I really should get some homework done today. I feel like I'm behind. I also really need to get a planner so that I can start writing things down. Either that or my iPod needs to hurry up and get through customs so I can sync it with Outlook. Speaking of the iPod, I am a little worried, because I realized that the package is unopened. Customs is going to notice that and I'm worried that they're going to hold the package somewhere and summon me to pay some sort of tax on importing it. Which really sort of ticks me off. Why should I pay taxes to support the EU when I'm not even an EU citizen? I should have had Erica open up the package and then re-tape it again. Oh well. It should be here soon I think.
Speaking of taxes, I learned something new the other day. Most items you buy in Germany are untaxed, but do you know where a lot of the revenue goes for the items that ARE taxed? To the EU. That's where the EU gets its budget. I had no idea but I find that fascinating. And creepy.
Right now I should be in the shower and getting dressed so that I can go to the grocery store and stock up on food. Sunday is tomorrow and the stores will be closed. Speaking of Sundays, today I am meeting up with Heinz to discuss the whole church thing. Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to tell him. I really hope he doesn't pressure me to stay. I hate being sold anything, least of all a church. The more that I think about it the more I think that TOS is not a good place for me to be this year. The thing that worries me though is that at this moment I'm totally unmotivated to search for a new church. I don't like that feeling.
Amazon.de is amazingly fast. I ordered a book off there late Thursday night and it arrived this morning, straight to my door. Why can't it be that fast in the States? Ridiculous. I want candy. I bought a bunch of snickers, Ritter Sport, and Milka on Halloween night but I've eaten it all already.
I feel that being in Europe has made me much more objective in the way that I look at politics. I could write a lot more on that theme, but I'm still thinking it over myself and so I don't want to go into it too much yet. Maybe later. Long story short: my political views are somewhat different than they were when I got here. I'll let you all chew on that for a while
Aaaaaaand I think I'm done.
The tree outside my window is looking very sad without most of its leaves. It reminds me of those mangy stray dogs you sometimes see on the street, knowing that they would look so much healthier if somone would just give them a bath.
Life is going really well right now. I am having a good time in Germany. Classes are okay, I really should get some homework done today. I feel like I'm behind. I also really need to get a planner so that I can start writing things down. Either that or my iPod needs to hurry up and get through customs so I can sync it with Outlook. Speaking of the iPod, I am a little worried, because I realized that the package is unopened. Customs is going to notice that and I'm worried that they're going to hold the package somewhere and summon me to pay some sort of tax on importing it. Which really sort of ticks me off. Why should I pay taxes to support the EU when I'm not even an EU citizen? I should have had Erica open up the package and then re-tape it again. Oh well. It should be here soon I think.
Speaking of taxes, I learned something new the other day. Most items you buy in Germany are untaxed, but do you know where a lot of the revenue goes for the items that ARE taxed? To the EU. That's where the EU gets its budget. I had no idea but I find that fascinating. And creepy.
Right now I should be in the shower and getting dressed so that I can go to the grocery store and stock up on food. Sunday is tomorrow and the stores will be closed. Speaking of Sundays, today I am meeting up with Heinz to discuss the whole church thing. Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to tell him. I really hope he doesn't pressure me to stay. I hate being sold anything, least of all a church. The more that I think about it the more I think that TOS is not a good place for me to be this year. The thing that worries me though is that at this moment I'm totally unmotivated to search for a new church. I don't like that feeling.
Amazon.de is amazingly fast. I ordered a book off there late Thursday night and it arrived this morning, straight to my door. Why can't it be that fast in the States? Ridiculous. I want candy. I bought a bunch of snickers, Ritter Sport, and Milka on Halloween night but I've eaten it all already.
I feel that being in Europe has made me much more objective in the way that I look at politics. I could write a lot more on that theme, but I'm still thinking it over myself and so I don't want to go into it too much yet. Maybe later. Long story short: my political views are somewhat different than they were when I got here. I'll let you all chew on that for a while
Aaaaaaand I think I'm done.
Thursday, November 3, 2005
I Have A Guitar!!
I bought my guitar today! Oh man I'm so excited to start learning. It's a used one and it's made of cedar (I think) so it's got a sort of dark, rich look to it. It's beautiful and is resting on its stand next to my desk as we speak. Oh man.
We looked through the "teach yourself guitar" books at the store but didn't find any that were really good and worth spending a 20 bucks on. Does anyone know any good online resources to start learning chords/notes/songs/etc? I'm so anxious to get started I'll start with anything!
Shoot. I forgot to get a pick.
--edit--
I've been practicing scales and chords. So far the only chord I can play without wincing in pain is D major. I've even come up with a small variation of D by lifting my first finger from the second fret as I strum. It's simple but it sounds good. C and G hurt like heck and are actually darn near impossible. I think it's combination of the fact that I have very small hands for a guy and this guitar has a wide neck. But regardless, how do people bend their fingers this way???
We looked through the "teach yourself guitar" books at the store but didn't find any that were really good and worth spending a 20 bucks on. Does anyone know any good online resources to start learning chords/notes/songs/etc? I'm so anxious to get started I'll start with anything!
Shoot. I forgot to get a pick.
--edit--
I've been practicing scales and chords. So far the only chord I can play without wincing in pain is D major. I've even come up with a small variation of D by lifting my first finger from the second fret as I strum. It's simple but it sounds good. C and G hurt like heck and are actually darn near impossible. I think it's combination of the fact that I have very small hands for a guy and this guitar has a wide neck. But regardless, how do people bend their fingers this way???
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
HECK YES!!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? I'm buying a guitar!!! Yes!! Used, classical guitar, nylon strings, comes with a stand, a bag, and everything else...180 euro. Heck yes baby. I'm so excited! I've wanted to learn to play forever and now I finally will! My buddy Almir is gonna teach me.
Life in Germany is rocking my socks off right now. I LOVE it here. A bunch of us are going to Heidelberg and Konstanz this weekend. It shall be awesome.
Man life just ROCKS!!!
Life in Germany is rocking my socks off right now. I LOVE it here. A bunch of us are going to Heidelberg and Konstanz this weekend. It shall be awesome.
Man life just ROCKS!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
