If you could see a timeline of your life - a linear representation of your journey: your thoughts, emotions, fears, hopes, spiritual growth - what would you see?
I've been writing in my journal tonight and decided to flip back a few months and read some old entries, wondering what, if anything, I had written earlier on the subject I am thinking, praying, and writing about tonight. Indeed I had - and I'd forgotten. And what I read literally made my jaw drop. I am not kidding.
Just a few months back I had written heartfelt and desperate pleas about the very subject I was considering tonight - except I was asking for things that I'm asking for again in a new way tonight. My journal entries over the past few months, when read in chronological succession and all at once to form a mosaic, are eerily self-fulfilling. That is to say - I can literally see and READ God preparing my heart over the past few months, causing me to ask the right questions of myself and of Him. I can see Him pushing the mental and spiritual jigsaw puzzle into place. I can see Him pushing people into and out of my life that were necessary to get to this point, here, tonight. I suddenly see the hand of God in my life in an unbelievable way over the past few months, and in one area in particular. The linearity is incredible and the signs difficult to ignore. He's been working overtime on this, and I think I may know why.
And all this time I couldn't see it. All this time I was going about my walk with Him and totally blind to what He was really working on - I thought I was in one place and headed for a particular destination, yet all the while He was tearing up the pavement from under me and re-laying the road to His own destination in His good pleasure. His sovereignty is humbling and His grace and patience are dumbfounding.
If His road is going where I think He may be paving it, everything is about to change.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."
-Proverbs 16:9
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Berlin
Sometimes, when I'm tired and there doesn't seem to be much rest to be had; when work gets stressful (ha); when I wonder about the future - I think of Berlin. Someday I'd like to go back for a little while.
On that subject, here's a cool song from 1981 about Berlin.
On that subject, here's a cool song from 1981 about Berlin.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Jesus Really IS Just that Good.
Just when I think He can't possibly take it any higher, He one-ups it and shows me a whole new side of Himself. I am bowled over with thankfulness and amazement at you tonight, Lord. Jesus, thank you for your providence, your mercy, and your hand in all things. You truly are the Prince of Peace and the Author and Perfector.
Your transformative grace goes beyond my understanding - but I am loving the ride.
Your transformative grace goes beyond my understanding - but I am loving the ride.
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Proverbs 31 Woman
I am waiting for the Proverbs 31 woman.
She is an "excellent wife." She is "far more precious than jewels." She "plants a vineyard with the fruit of her hands." She is clothed with strength and dignity. She laughs. She opens her mouth with wisdom. She fears God.
I am waiting for the woman whose heart I can trust in.
I have been waiting for what feels like forever. And I'm convinced that it won't be much longer.
Lately I have been praying specifically for this, which is something that I have never done. I've always prayed for the development of the heart that will necessary to be her husband. I've prayed for the ability to recognize her. I've prayed for strength and perseverance and wisdom and will and purity and courage and redemption and steadfastness.
Now, I eagerly and confidently pray for her coming - and for my swift and decisive pursuit of her when she is revealed.
She is an "excellent wife." She is "far more precious than jewels." She "plants a vineyard with the fruit of her hands." She is clothed with strength and dignity. She laughs. She opens her mouth with wisdom. She fears God.
I am waiting for the woman whose heart I can trust in.
I have been waiting for what feels like forever. And I'm convinced that it won't be much longer.
Lately I have been praying specifically for this, which is something that I have never done. I've always prayed for the development of the heart that will necessary to be her husband. I've prayed for the ability to recognize her. I've prayed for strength and perseverance and wisdom and will and purity and courage and redemption and steadfastness.
Now, I eagerly and confidently pray for her coming - and for my swift and decisive pursuit of her when she is revealed.
Monday, September 1, 2008
I want my weekend back.
There has got to be some law of physics that describes why three-day weekends always seem to go faster than regular ones. Here I am sitting in my living room after a full day of vegging and relaxation, and yet I'm still not ready for the week to start tomorrow. The one consolation is that at least we're starting one day ahead of the game.
Also, why is it that there's never enough time to veg on the 3-day weekends, but somehow vegging on the regular weekends is totally doable? Today I slept in, watched the news, washed and waxed my car, finished up the latest discs of 24 that I got from Netflix, and now here it is already 6pm, and I have a tons more time I want to waste and not even time to waste it all. I demand to have an extension of the weekend.
Hmmm....maybe I'm falling ill? Cough cough?
Also, why is it that there's never enough time to veg on the 3-day weekends, but somehow vegging on the regular weekends is totally doable? Today I slept in, watched the news, washed and waxed my car, finished up the latest discs of 24 that I got from Netflix, and now here it is already 6pm, and I have a tons more time I want to waste and not even time to waste it all. I demand to have an extension of the weekend.
Hmmm....maybe I'm falling ill? Cough cough?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Just In Case Anyone Still Reads This -
- yes, I am alive.
No, I have not had the urge to blog a lot. Until now, I guess. I felt that it was sort of time for an "hey, I've been out of school for about seven months now and here's how it's going" entry. I'm sure all four of you that actually have this page bookmarked are wondering how things are out here in the Real World.
The short answer is that they're great. Really great. Better than they ever were in school, and that's the truth. People say college is the best time of your life, but honestly I feel like I'm finally starting to peak now that I'm out of that incubator. I wouldn't trade my current job (even with all its stresses), all my bills (even when they're high), or my current social circle to go back to college. Not in a million years. I am truly happier now than I have ever been in my entire life thus far, which, although it probably isn't saying much considering that's not a whole lot of years to look back on, still says much. And not to say that college wasn't fantastic - but you move on to other things eventually, and I'm enjoying being in that place right now.
Work is going superbly well, especially this past week, as I finally, finally, FINALLY got approval for one of the big huge inventory countermeasures that I have been battling for for almost six months. I will most likely be able to hit my inventory goal for the year, with a little more elbow grease. As we head into September there's going to be a lot going on, but since it's been slow enough recently for me to be able to catch up on things I feel refreshed enough to take whatever it throws at me.
Socially, things are also going well - I'm feeling healthier and better than I ever have thanks to gym visits 5 days a week.
My lease is up at my current apartment in December, which means it's almost time to start apartment hunting again. That's going to be a real challenge considering the conflicting priorities of finding a less expensive place to save some green while still having the amazing downtown life that I have right now. Yesterday I explored a few of the more residential neighborhoods near downtown and I was completely how shocked at how weird it felt - I have grown accustomed to being in the middle of downtown. What once felt like an overbearing, bustling city that didn't offer any rest is now the only place that I feel at ease - the quiet of the suburbs is unnerving.
I'm optimistic about the future and the rest of the year - life isn't perfect, but then, it never is. I think the best thing about leaving college and the isolated fantasy world that exists on campus was coming to that very realization and becoming comfortable with it for the first time in my life. Despite the imperfections, it all goes on - onward and upward!
No, I have not had the urge to blog a lot. Until now, I guess. I felt that it was sort of time for an "hey, I've been out of school for about seven months now and here's how it's going" entry. I'm sure all four of you that actually have this page bookmarked are wondering how things are out here in the Real World.
The short answer is that they're great. Really great. Better than they ever were in school, and that's the truth. People say college is the best time of your life, but honestly I feel like I'm finally starting to peak now that I'm out of that incubator. I wouldn't trade my current job (even with all its stresses), all my bills (even when they're high), or my current social circle to go back to college. Not in a million years. I am truly happier now than I have ever been in my entire life thus far, which, although it probably isn't saying much considering that's not a whole lot of years to look back on, still says much. And not to say that college wasn't fantastic - but you move on to other things eventually, and I'm enjoying being in that place right now.
Work is going superbly well, especially this past week, as I finally, finally, FINALLY got approval for one of the big huge inventory countermeasures that I have been battling for for almost six months. I will most likely be able to hit my inventory goal for the year, with a little more elbow grease. As we head into September there's going to be a lot going on, but since it's been slow enough recently for me to be able to catch up on things I feel refreshed enough to take whatever it throws at me.
Socially, things are also going well - I'm feeling healthier and better than I ever have thanks to gym visits 5 days a week.
My lease is up at my current apartment in December, which means it's almost time to start apartment hunting again. That's going to be a real challenge considering the conflicting priorities of finding a less expensive place to save some green while still having the amazing downtown life that I have right now. Yesterday I explored a few of the more residential neighborhoods near downtown and I was completely how shocked at how weird it felt - I have grown accustomed to being in the middle of downtown. What once felt like an overbearing, bustling city that didn't offer any rest is now the only place that I feel at ease - the quiet of the suburbs is unnerving.
I'm optimistic about the future and the rest of the year - life isn't perfect, but then, it never is. I think the best thing about leaving college and the isolated fantasy world that exists on campus was coming to that very realization and becoming comfortable with it for the first time in my life. Despite the imperfections, it all goes on - onward and upward!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Oh, yeah, that's right...I have a blog.
I had kinda forgotten in the past 3 months. Ha!
4th of July was pretty low-key, just went to the Beerfest with some friends from work and then headed up to crash a rooftop party and watch the fireworks over Elliot Bay. Good times.
Saturday has been fairly unproductive. I took my car in for its 10,000 mile checkup and beyond that I haven't accomplished much. The weather can't seem to make up its mind so I'm kind of thinking it might be a good time to get some cleaning up done around the apartment; the place looks like a bomb went off. It's just one of those days when there's a whole lot you probably SHOULD be doing, both work and non-work related, but you just can't seem to muster up the jam to do it all. And I can't believe it's already Saturday; before we know it it will be Sunday - where did the 3-day weekend go??
Life in general still going OK, work is OK and on the upswing, and beyond that, there just ain't a whole lot new to report.
Costco run later today!
4th of July was pretty low-key, just went to the Beerfest with some friends from work and then headed up to crash a rooftop party and watch the fireworks over Elliot Bay. Good times.
Saturday has been fairly unproductive. I took my car in for its 10,000 mile checkup and beyond that I haven't accomplished much. The weather can't seem to make up its mind so I'm kind of thinking it might be a good time to get some cleaning up done around the apartment; the place looks like a bomb went off. It's just one of those days when there's a whole lot you probably SHOULD be doing, both work and non-work related, but you just can't seem to muster up the jam to do it all. And I can't believe it's already Saturday; before we know it it will be Sunday - where did the 3-day weekend go??
Life in general still going OK, work is OK and on the upswing, and beyond that, there just ain't a whole lot new to report.
Costco run later today!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
