An Excerpt from Today's Honors College Tour

Me: ...and so this is our front desk. This is where you'll come if you get locked out of your room, or want to check out a vaccuum or anything. There are tons of resources here at the desk. So if you'll all follow me, we'll cram everyone in the elevator here and see if it will hold us all. We're going up to the 3rd floor to see one of the student rooms there so you can get an idea of what it's like to live here.

15 people cram into elevator. I look up and notice sign: 'Weight limit: 2500 pounds.'

Me (chuckling): I will laugh if we get stuck in here.

Nervous laughter from the group of students and parents. The elevator doors close and the car begins to move.

*CLUNKCLUNKCLUK!* Elevator bounces and stops moving. I stop smiling.

Parent (in back): Ummmm...I think we're stuck.

Me (furiously jabbing 3rd floor button): Hehe...I spoke too soon!

Parent (in back, weakly): I'm claustrophobic.

Me (stabbing emergency intercom button): Well, let's see if this works.

Dial tone. Dialing. Static.

Elevator doors open. We're on the 2nd floor. My heart resumes beating and my stomach crawls back out of my butt.

Me: Oooookaaaay then, let's take the stairs for the last floor, shall we?

Homework Party

Okay, just kidding. I'm not going to upload any pictures from DC for two reasons. First, they're already on facebook anyway, and second, I'm not in them, and I'm sure you all know what the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, etc. look like. So I'm going to spare myself the work.

This Friday night was spent doing homework. How awesome. Is it May 1 yet? I am so ready for the end of classes. Projects, papers, presentations....it never ends.

I'm very tired in more ways than one.

I'm Baaaaaaack

Well, everyone, the event in Washington DC is over and I'm back on campus. After 6 hours of hallucinogenic and fitful sleep on the plane caused by my taking Tylenol PM right before boarding, I arrived back in Phoenix at 2am last night and proceeded immediately to fall into bed. It was so weird because I was so tired that I was having dreams that I was waking up - and there were points that I was completely disoriented and literally had no idea where I was. Kinda scary when you don't know whether you're awake or asleep.

Anyway I'm back, I have LOADS of pictures from my little romp around DC after the conference was over, and I will post some of them later. After missing nearly a full week of school, I am now playing catch-up. Rule #1 of playing catch-up is that you have to get organized enough to allow yourself to stop hyperventilating before you start tackling stuff.. More later.

Retraction:

It's NOT a done deal with the thing about mom's car. It's just a POSSIBILITY. Sorry, I re-read the post and it definitely gives the wrong impression!

And then it happened.

Mom and I were discussing the Great Car Search and what methods/models/makes we should go about when she suddenly just said,

"What about my car? What if we just sold you my car? I might get promoted soon anyway, I could just lease something until that happens."

Oh. My. Goodness. Resolve not to get too excited.

Quote of the Day

America is a country where the minute one person stands up and says, 'That's impossible,' somone else walks in the door and announces, 'We just did it.'

-Thomas Friedman, The Lexus and the Olive Tree

Cats vs. Dogs

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and I almost wet my pants laughing.

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Journal:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now.