Thoughts on the End of the Chapter

There is a definite sense tonight, as I pack my bags and prepare for the arrival of both family members and the insanity that will be graduation ceremonies, that something is very different. That tonight is different, and that the future is different too.

I keep thinking about what it's going to feel like to drive out of Phoenix. Up until this point I didn't really feel like I was done - I felt like I was about to go home for Christmas break. But I think driving out of the city with all my stuff in the car is going to drive the point home that this time I'm not actually coming back.

Half of me wants to savor this time, to soak in it, to write about it, to listen to music that will deepen it and enrich it and make me remember it. And the other half of me just wants to get it over with, skip over it as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid.

As always when it comes to the end of life chapters, there is never quite enough time for it all. There just hasn't been enough time to say last goodbyes to everyone and everything. One thing I want to be sure that I do before I leave is climb up A Mountain one last time and just look out over Tempe and Phoenix. If I can do that, I'll leave satisfied and ready for the next chapter.

The End

I have just finished my last undergraduate final exam. Which means that once I finish this one last assignment for another class, my undergraduate career is, for all practical purposes, over.

The exam went well. However, my dear calculator chose to run out of battery juice exactly as I finished checking my answers. It was like a divine sign, as though my little electronic sidekick - with whom I have been through so much, suffered long, and endured many exams and assignments - decided it was both a poignant and fitting tribute to choose this exact moment to depart for the next world. Wiping away a tear (not really) and with a heavy heart, I slowly replaced his plastic cover and placed him lovingly inside the outer pocket of my backpack.

Now I sit, one last time, in our wonderful business school Starbucks - a place where I have also spent much time and that I will miss dearly in the coming years.

It doesn't feel like my last day in classes or taking tests on campus, although there is a definite quality about this day that is different - one that I can't quite put my finger on but that I know is there. But mostly it just feels like a really slow and relaxed Friday on campus. I'm sure that as the time to leave for Seattle draws closer it will become more obvious that real changes are happening.

You're such a poser.

I'm in the computer lab on campus right now, waiting for the rest of my study group to get here. Our lab recently upgraded us all from the old, swivel-head iMacs to the brand-spanking-new and über-sexy new aluminum iMacs, which, of course, also run Windows. Although only about 1/4 of the lab is dedicated to these iMacs, every time I come in here there are always 3-4 tools using them to run Windows. I always want to punch those tools in the face and say, "Get out of our section, you poser. This is MAC territory."

It's truly not fair. You know why? Because once you get used to using a Mac - once you've gotten used to that sense of childlike wonder being restored to your life every time you start up your computer - you can't go back to Windows and retain your sanity. So essentially, it is useless to me that 3/4 of the computers in here are Windows, because I can't use them, because if I do I might have to kill someone or myself. And that just wouldn't be good.

So it's not fair that the Windows Posers get to come over here and poach on our Macs. Evil, evil windows posers.

It's officially getting weird.

Today I bought my cap and gown. It's beginning to sink in that something is happening, but I still don't think it's going to hit me full force until I'm out on the stage and in full regalia with all my friends. I'm starting to feel a little sad, not really because I'm going to miss college so much as sadness for the fact that this stage of life is over. It's always a little sad when you are forced to change in some irreversible way, even if you're looking forward to it.

Thoughts on Opportunity

"Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals - think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want."
-Marsha Sinetar

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully open the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
-Alexander Graham Bell

Thanksgiving

It was a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner. A colorful salad, wondrous sweet potatoes, fluffy mashed potatoes, succulent stuffing, and the most moist, amazing turkey ever (this year was our first year having an organic, free-range turkey, and in Thanksgiving tradition we referred to him during the preparation process as "Tom the Turkey." Owing to his uniqueness in historical context, he quickly became "Tom the Organic Turkey," and shortly thereafter - my stepfather being unable to resist the temptation of a wonderful near-homonym - was christened "Tom the Orgasmic Turkey.").

And so, with Tom the Orgasmic Turkey fresh out of the oven and sliced into little bits, we all sat down at the gorgeously decorated table - complete with crystal wine glasses, our best china, and even tea lights in front of everyone's plates - to begin the gorging process.

About five minutes into dinner my aunt accidentally spills her glass of red wine across the table and into her brother's lap. Panic ensues and everyone (except me, that is - I have lived with a large family long enough to know when there are too many cooks in the kitchen) springs into action. My mother throws down her napkin and runs upstairs to get a towel, which drops from the landing a few seconds later onto the foyer floor below. My aunt jumps up and attacks the tablecloth with her own napkin. My uncle stands and begins wiping the wine from his (thankfully) black pants. My stepfather lunges at the floor with a bottle of Resolve and the towel previously mentioned. And so, having no duty to fill and with a mouth full of mashed potatoes and gravy, I calmly reach for the salt and pepper shakers resting in front of my mother's plate.

Which is when I notice that her napkin is on fire.

"OMIGOD FIRE!!"

In a moment of weakness for which I shall never forgive myself, I forget every ounce of fire safety training in all those endless elementary school assemblies with Spot the Fire Dog. I instinctively grab the edge of the napkin and fling it skyward and away from the candle flame, transforming it into a flying silk fireball in my left hand. More panic ensues.

Suffice it to say that the house did not burn down and we survived the experience of feasting on Tom the Orgasmic Turkey. Ah, Thanksgiving.

SouthSuck Airlines

So I walk into the airport this afternoon earlier than originally planned for my 7:30 flight to Seattle, all excited to get situated, put my iPod earbuds in, and just chill for 2.5 hours on the plane home. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and taking it out I find a text message from a friend:

Looks like your flight could be delayed. Check southwest.com.

I groan and head over to the Departures monitor. There's my flight, but it looks like we're scheduled to arrive EARLIER than originally planned, by almost a full hour! Woo hoo! I skip over to the checkin and get my bag checked. Then up the escalator, quick phone call home to let the family know I'll be early, and then through security.

Finally I plop down at Starbucks in the terminal, plug in my laptop, and start surfing our free airport WiFi here at SkyHarbor. Checking email, blogs, news, the whole bit. Eventually I decide, just for kicks and giggles, to check my flight status again. Which is when I discovered the oh-so-not-funny truth of things.

I had read the monitor wrong. The time posted wasn't our arrival time. It was our DEPARTURE time. My flight is delayed. At this point it's barely 4:30. Which means I'm going to be stuck in the airport for another four and a half hours.

Surly sip of coffee. Surly phone call home to inform them I'll be in closer to midnight. Surly surfing of web. Surly working on homework stuff.

All I can say is that when I get on that plane and settle into a seat, the captain had better get on the intercom and inform us that he's going to step on it and fly like a bat outta hell into Seattle, getting us in earlier than we're currently scheduled - or so help me, I just might write another surly blog post about it.

That'll show 'em.