Thursday, May 31, 2007

Happy Day

It has been a fantastic day from start to finish.

Work absolutely FLEW by. I had no idea where the time had gone. I've gotten more comfortable at work as well - comfortable enough to joke around with coworkers a bit and losing the fear of asking questions more day by day. Tomorrow is Friday already and then next week we jump into the first kaizen blitz, which will be very busy but I think also very rewarding. My roommate for the summer also showed up on Wednesday evening, and he is awesome. We get along great and also have similar interests.

After work today a bunch of people from the company all met up for happy hour, and I was so glad that my roommate and I went. It was a great chance for both of us to meet some new people from the organization, talk to the ones we already knew in a more social setting, and just plain relax. It's amazing how people open up when they get around a table with a couple of beers. :-) We were there nearly 3 hours, and by the time we left I was loving my job simply because I knew the people better and could get excited about some of the opportunities this company affords.

Then we both drove home. The sun was already down, but the sky was still a beautiful shade of light purple/blue, that soft, gorgeous color of blue that only the Pacific Northwest sky can get at dusk, like the color of the sky above the clouds from an airliner as the sun sets. The air was clear and warm, and I drove with the sunroof open and the windows down. Just as I cleared Northgate on I-5 and headed over the bridge, downtown Seattle came into view, beginning to sparkle as lights came on in the towering buildings. The Space Needle glistened like a platinum hourglass against the sky, and the Olympic Mountains formed the perfect indigo backdrop to the dark blue waters of Elliot Bay.

I looked out over that beautiful view, inhaled deeply, taking in the crisp, salty evening air, and sighed with contentment. This is why I came back, I thought to myself. It's going to be a good summer.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Twentysomething

Having recently and once and for all firmly crossed over the amorphous milestone that marks the beginning of the "twentysomething years," I find myself spending a lot of time these days thinking about just what it is that these years of life are supposed to mean. What they're for.

The twentysomething years, I think, are both a blessing and a curse. You're finally a full-fledged adult, able and required to do all the things that adults can and must do. You're able to structure your life, your job, and your relationships in any way you please. But at the same time you also feel the urge brought on by the youth in these years - namely, the urge to avoid all of the above "adult" things like the plague. You realize that - gasp - you really ARE growing up, and fast. Suddenly it's apparent that you'd better cram in all the fun and carefree adventures you didn't have as an irresponsible teenager, because in less than a decade you too will be married with children and a mortgage and taxes and a job and most likely shackled to one geographic location.

Maybe that's the reason I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to go back to Germany these days. It seems that over the past week or so all I've been able to do is daydream about how wonderful it would be to literally pack up and move there - for a long time. Sharing this thought with my mother, the following conversation took place:

Mom: You can't go back to Germany.
Me: Why not?
Mom [only half-joking]: Because. You have to find a nice girl and get married.
Me: They have girls in Germany too, mom.
Mom: I know. That's exactly the problem.

(Perhaps this is also a convenient time to mention that one of the other unnerving developments that comes with the early twentysomething years is the terrifying barrage of questions from every conceivable family member about one's current, up-to-the-minute marital status. I strongly suspect that if there are hormones or chemicals released into the brains of early twentysomethings that encourage behaviors of independence and freedom, there are equally lethal hormones and chemicals released into the brains of said twentysomething's elders that produce within them the irresistable desire to ensure the survival of the family name as swiftly as possible.)

That said, i continue to toy with the idea of moving to Germany in December, Lord willing. There are many benefits to such a move, which I will have to enumerate later and in some other post because it's now 11pm and therefore my bedtime. (Yes, even twentysomethings have a bedtime.)

Sunday, May 27, 2007

It's the Weekend

I was, to put it very, very mildly, absolutely ecstatic about the end of this last week and the beginning of this weekend. Right now I am not enjoying my job. All day I feel like an absolute retard because half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I've walked into a room, and someone has handed me a puzzle box and said, "Put this puzzle together." Only there's no picture on the box to guide me and the pieces are scattered all over the floor. I set about trying to collect them, understanding them as individual pieces but having little to no idea how they fit together. All the while I'm terrified that when the moment of truth comes I'll be left standing there like a clueless idiot, clutching a piece of the puzzle and mumbling, "Well, this one looks like it's a corner."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Matthew comes home every night and pours himself a very, very large glass of wine.

On a happier note, I had a chance to meet up with Kyla today and reminisce a bit about Tübingen and Germany. Dwelling on Germany is just about the happiest state I can put my mind in, so much so that I have recently decided that come December I will be applying for positions in Germany as well as the United States. I can definitely see myself packing up and moving over there completely at this point, but of course that all depends on the job offers I end up with.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The First and Second Day

So for those of you wondering, the internship is going okay. And I do mean just "okay" because I'm definitely still at that deer-in-the-headlights stage where you're getting used to everything and figuring out how things work around there. I honestly hated my first day and felt totally useless and awkward the whole day, but today was better. I've just never had a job that was so hands-on and where I am allowed to just "go to it" and do whatever it takes to solve the problem - I'm used to having to ask permission or have someone guide me, so there is definitely still some panic at this stage.

However, I am quite excited about my first assignment: to redesign the reworking/refurbishing area of the factory floor so that less inventory is tied up in refurbishing, with the end result that inventory is processed through that department within 48 hours and the amount of in-process inventory is reduced to around $100,000. For comparison, currently there is $1.5 million of inventory in this department and there are some pieces that have been there for over a year. Yes, you read that right: million. I have to get rid of $1.4 million of inventory. No easy task - but I am ready for the challenge and looking forward to it, although it's extremely unnerving not having a 100% clear idea of how I'm going to get there.

Tonight after work I went for a jog in Myrtle Edwards park, which is RIGHT on the water by downtown Seattle. I have never seen such a great view. It's 10,000x better than the waterfront in Tacoma because you've got that gorgeous Seattle skyline AND Mount Rainier staring you in the face.

Speaking of things I do after work, I have come to the conclusion that if I am to actually take the time to cook and eat healthy dinners, I have approximately 1.5-2 hours to myself after work each evening - and that's a stretch. My days right now literally consist of waking up at 6am, going to work, coming back from work 12 hours later, cooking and eating something, maybe having 1 hour to do whatever (during which time I am - surprise - working), and then collapsing into bed at like 9:00pm because I'm so exhausted. Where did all my energy go? How am I so tired after just being in an office all day? I suppose it's probably mostly the mental stress from not having the slightest clue what it is I'm doing most of the day, and hopefully that will go away. And hopefully I will find ways to go without more sleep, because I do not think I can handle a 10pm bedtime every weekday for the whole summer.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Real Apartment

So allow me to give you all the short story on the apartment situation here, now that I can actually laugh about it.

The amazing top-floor apartment with a bay and Space Needle view I was telling some of you about while I called you in the midst of excitedly wetting my own pants? Yeah, it's actually not ours. They gave me the wrong keys when I checked in. Our real apartment is nice, although it is on the ground floor - quite the contrast, but there are several perks I have discovered in the roughly 18 hours I've spent in this place, including the much more comfortable bed and better kitchen appliances (I know, I'm reaching, but seriously, they are better).

So in celebration this morning I made a big and delicious breakfast, including eggs, bacon, yoghurt, a bagel with cream cheese, juice, and of course, coffee.

Today is also my last day of freedom before I start my internship tomorrow. I am both nervous and excited, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect when I show up tomorrow.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Cold War Reflections

I am finishing up what is probably one of the best books I've read this year: The Cold War by John Lewis Gaddis. If you are even remotely interested in history, especially the Cold War period, you have GOT to buy - yes, it's worth owning - this book. It's so well-written and it's just fascinating.

Obviously, as I near the end of the book, Lewis is discussing the events of the revolution of 1989 - all of the events and coincidences and blunders that led to the overthrow of socialism in Europe and the fall of the Berlin Wall. It is extremely moving to read about all of this - what an extraordinary time in history! And I was alive for it - albeit only four years old.

My generation was born at a truly incredible turning point in the history of the world. We are the generation of the fall of the Wall - the generation that came into the world just as everything our parents and grandparents had fought for was coming to fruition.

We were born into an age when the world - for all its flaws - entered an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity. As we toddled around and entered school as first-graders, the Soviet Union - the "evil empire" of the Reagan era - finally collapsed into itself as the world heaved a sigh of relief. As we grew up, the memorials, statues, administrative centers, and power structures of the communist parties were abandoned, fell into disrepair, and were even torn down.

One such administrative center is the Palast der Republik (Palace of the Republic) in the former East Berlin. Once the center of the Socialist Unity Party that controlled East Germany for 40 years, this building had decayed into a dilapitaed, graphittied, and sad shadow of its former self, standing wealkly in the midst of now-restored East Berlin. It seemed to project a sense of loss, as if the building itself knew that its time had long since come and gone, and that it was despised even as it stood there, rotting away. I'll never forget standing there and looking at it from across the street, taking pictures of its rust-colored windows.

While I was in Germany in 2002, plans were finalized to tear it down and rebuild the former City Palace of Berlin that had originally stood in its place. Reaction was mixed - many were glad to hear the building would go, some were sad to see what had evolved into a historical reminder and monument being destroyed. I was somewhere between the two. Last year, at the end of my year abroad in Tübingen, the Palast was finally torn down once and for all.

The symbolic nature of that act is curious to me - here we are, the world, moving into an era of globalization that is more pronounced and widespread than ever before, where exchange of ideas and information occur instantly and at almost no cost, and the final vestiges of the Cold War world are slowly being erased and free markets and democratic ideals take root in more and more places. It's the end - and the beginning - of an era, and we're here to watch it all unfold. That is so unbelievably cool.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Screen Name Change

My screen name has changed, so please make sure you check my Facebook profile to get the new one and update your buddy lists. If you are not on Facebook, then I need to tell you that
(a) you are a huge loser and need to get on Facebook immediately so you may come out from the rock you have no doubt been residing under, and
(b) if you still won't join Facebook, just email me and I'll give it to you.

Get Your Veg On

Not much new to report over the past few days. My internship starts on Monday, and speaking of that, I have to go downtown today for a drug test. This will be a new experience. There is definitely a certain degree of humiliation in just being required to do something so......well, humiliating. I mean I understand that it's required for everyone and all, but still - one definitely feels degraded in some way when you're told you have to go and pee in a cup so that they can make sure you're not on pot or Lord knows what else. Honestly. Apparently, though, this is common practice even for the biggest service-sector companies. I guess it's just a sad testament to the times.

Yesterday, though, was a good day. I had the car for the day while mom was at work, so I spent a couple hours reading at Starbucks. It was so nice to be able to sit there with a book and coffee and not have anything else hanging over my head - no assignments to work on, no papers to write, no projects to complete. I'll do more of the same later today and hopefully finish this great book on the Cold War that I'm currently reading.

Today, aside from this stupid drug test, I plan on working on my thesis abstract and also maybe my application for the Bundestag scholarship program. We'll see. I only have a few more days of freedom before I'm going to be working all day, so I'm trying to get my veg on while I still can.

I move into the new apartment on Friday. Very excited. The weekend will no doubt be spent re-discovering downtown Seattle as well as our neighborhood in lower Queen Anne.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Home

Back in Seattle. Finally. Road trip was good. And that's about all I have to say about it for now....I need sleep.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Convocation

The room is finally - finally - packed. It took the entire day, but everything is ready to go, stuffed into some suitcase, box, or bag and ready to be heaved into what I can only hope is a very large sedan tomorrow morning.

Tonight was convocation for the honors college. I cannot describe how it felt to sit in the audience and watch my class graduate without me - their names, degrees, and thesis titles read off one by one. Handshakes with professors and hugs and smiles. I felt oddly detached. It wasn't so much a feeling of loss or a feeling that I should be up there with them - I knew that this would be the price of a year in Germany from the start, and willingly made that trade - but it was the stranger feeling that I was simply out of place, an outsider, that I no longer belonged to what used to be a family of sorts for me. This feeling was only intensified when the ceremony ended and everyone flooded out into the hall, converging with parents and friends, leaving me to wade through a shifting sea of people all josting to get pictures with their graduate. I have never felt so alone amongst so many people before, and it was then that it really hit home that it's all over and done.

If nothing else, it was worth it to see the smiles on my friends' faces and the triumph and pride that they were radiating. I was, by the grace of God, able to enjoy the night for what it was - a celebration of their accomplishments - and to be truly, honestly, deeply happy for and proud of them. They are amazing, each and every one.

After congratulating and saying goodbye to those friends I was successful in finding, I slowly walked home, soberly aware that, in many cases, watching my friends walk across the stage tonight was the last time I will ever see them.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Sweet Freedom

My supply management final is now officially over and I've officially submitted my take-home final for logistics, which means that with the exception of my geography final this evening (which will be a walk in the park), I am now DONE with finals.

*confetti*

Now that finals are essentially over, we move into the next season of the end of the academic semester, namely: the anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive checking of our online grade postings every hour to see if our final grades have been posted yet. It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

With finals now basically out of the way, I am left to continue packing up the room. I took apart my bookshelf yesterday, which was a smart move considering the sheer amount of stuff that it looks like I'm going to be cramming into the rental car on Thursday morning.

I'm also beginning to realize how grueling of a first day on the road it's going to be. 13 hours of driving is a hefty task considering that I'll probably be exhausted from all the packing/loading/end of semester goodbyes and such, but I am confident that with the help of my trusty sidekick Mr. Caffeine it's totally doable.

The clock is ticking until 10:00pm on Wednesday, which is bedtime and hence the cutoff for all goodbyes and hanging-out times. I need lots of sleep Wed night so I can be refreshed and ready to go on Thursday morning.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

The Home Stretch

In Hayden Library again. Finishing up take-home final and beginning studying for the other two. I have resolved not to leave this library until all my tangible work is done.

During finals week, the only things I need to sustain my existence are my laptop, an internet connection, and all my books and notes. And coffee.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Finals Update

Reporting live from Hayden Library on a Saturday morning (how's THAT for depressing?), there actually isn't a whole lot to report. My first two finals on Thursday went okay - not fantastic, but okay. Actually the Econ final was okay and my international business final was fantastic, I finished it in 20 minutes. Also, my professor liked my honors paper for that class so that was great too. Hopefully he will like the thesis abstract I will be sending him soon and agree to direct or at least point me to someone who can direct my thesis.

I have today, Sunday and Monday to prepare for my next 3 finals. Two of them are going to be midly stressful but since our Logistics final is take-home we should be able to get it done. My geography final will no doubt be easiest and is something that I am going to prepare minimally for.

I took down all the stuff off my bedroom walls yesterday and began packing up books and such. The entire packing process shouldn't take too long, actually, since there isn't much to move out. That will be done mostly on Wednesday.

Thursday is getting closer, only 5 days until I leave. I've already started burning CDs for the road trip and I'm immensely looking forward to the drive.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Reading Day

I finished my paper last night at 11:30pm, perfect timing to fall into bed and sleep soundly for a good few hours. That was quite possibly the most painless paper I've ever written. Not easy, but painless. I was well prepared and the more work you put into paper prep and organization the faster the writing itself goes. It was nice to have it done before the AM hours.

The day started off beautifully with an email from one of my professors saying that my huge process improvement paper was great and that the department loved it - also, I got a great grade on it, 96%. So awesome to know that the hours of work on that all paid off.

Today is reading day, which means we have no classes and the day is ours to study for finals. My first and worst final is tomorrow at 7:40am (International Economics), and once that is done I only have 4 left (International Management, Logistics, Supply Management, and Geography), all of which shouldn't be too bad. I have plenty of time to prepare for them.

Also, the packing and cleaning process is slowly beginning. Tonight will probably mark the coming-down of all the posters and pictures in the room. Departure date is drawing closer, and I can hardly wait to get in the car and just drive........

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Finals Deprive Me of Coffee

As I stood in line this morning at Starbucks, I suddenly realized that I definitely did not need coffee - my heart was already pounding away like a jackrabbit and the adrenaline was flowing. So I just sat down and started to work.

Finals are never an enjoyable experience. True to form, I woke up today feeling sick. Now I'm so high-strung that I'm jumping at the slightest noises and so full of adrenaline that I'd swear I just jumped out of an airplane at 30,000 feet. Without a parachute.

And it's all over these stupid presentations today.

I don't know why I'm so hyped over these group projects. Public speaking does not normally bother me - I'll be the first guy to stand up in front of a crowd and make an idiot of himself as long as it gets me a few laughs - but for some reason this particular presentation has me all flustered.

Maybe it's because I know the professor is a really particular guy who's difficult to please. Maybe I don't feel prepared enough. Maybe it's just the anticipation and it will be fine once we get up there and get to start talking. Maybe it's the paper that's still hanging over my head - the paper that I just can't seem to make work. Maybe it's these dress shoes, which are absolutely killing my feet and are sure to leave massive blisters in their wake by the time I take them off this evening.

Only 8 more days.