Swallowed in the Sea

Shannon put it best:

"I'm swimming in a sea of academics."

Yes. Yes we are. Funny thing is, even though it's a bit stressful, I'm not minding it too much either.

My Education Interferes With My Education

Meeting wtih the potential thesis director was okay. Basically, he told me that I am not ready to begin the project until I get a much more refined topic in mind (which of course I was expecting and is absolutely true). He also said that I have to be careful about writing it about a particular firm like I was planning on, because then my objectivity can be compromised or questioned. That was something I hadn't thought about.

It's a really great exercise in humiilty to sit in front of someone with advanced degrees in a field you aspire to and have them tell you, as gently as they can, that you have no idea what you're doing. It's totally necessary, but man, it freaking sucks. His general advice was that I'm not ready to start this just yet.

So basically I'm right back at square one, with no idea exactly what I want to research and t-minus 1 week to get this thesis prospectus written, find a director, and find 2 readers.

This is so frustrating. I have to get done with school by this spring, and that means the thesis needs to start now. I don't have a lot of time to sort out what I want to do, and I'm beginning to feel the pressure. You would think that colleges, in this increasingly interconnected and "global" world they keep lecturing us about in class, would ENCOURAGE and REWARD us for studying abroad. But no. You get back from abroad, and in addition to the culture shock, you get to enjoy the experience of your university ramming its Graduation Requirements Boot as far up your tuckus as possible.

I'm not angry with the prospective director. He's great, and he gave me exactly the advice and direction that I needed to hear. I'm angry with the BHC and with ASU in general. They've structured the graduation requirements and pre-requisites in such a way that it makes it difficult - if not impossible - to graduate on time and still do study abroad and everything ELSE you wanted to do.

My education interferes with my education.

Wednesdays are Good Days

Umbrellas is my favorite new band of the moment. I'm trying to resist the temptation to buy their CDs.

I'm going to ask my international business professor to be my thesis director today.

Yesterday my toe hit my bike tire and it chipped off a piece of my toenail. It doesn't hurt. Yet.

I wish I had more money to throw away on things like music.

I tried sushi for the first time yesterday and it was amazing. And amazingly expensive.

Wednesdays are good days.

There are entirely too many freshmen in this year's class. They have conquered our entire campus.

I want some more sushi.

I'm considering doing SOL again this year. Maybe.

We're getting interet in our apartment this week, which is awesome.

I seriously want some more sushi.

The New Adventure in the Old World

Seitdem ich wieder hier daheim und auf dem Campus bin ist nichts so, wie es früher war. Alles hat sich verändert. Nichts ist konstant geblieben.

Ich war vorgestern Abend mit ein paar Freunden und Freundinnen raus. Wir sind ins Kino gegangen, haben uns nen tollen, sehr lustigen Film angeguckt, und nachdem mehrere Leute bei IHOP getroffen. Und durch den ganzen Abend fühlte ich mich irgendwie komisch. Eigentlich ist es nicht nur heut Abend – ich habe mich die ganze Zeit so gefühlt, seitdem ich zurück bin.

Ich fühle mich, als ob ich mein Leben, meine Freunde, meine Konversationen – alles – aus der Ferne betrachte und gar nicht mehr mitmache. Obwohl ich natürlich doch an diesen Dingen teilnehme, hab ich das komische Gefühl, ich sei eigentlich nicht mehr wirklich da. Meine Gedanken sind Abwesend, richten sich auf Deutschland und das was ich hinterher gelassen habe. Machte ich sie nicht auf meine Gegenwart aufmerksam, hab ich manchmal das Gefühl, meine Freunde würden vergessen, daß ich überhaupt dabei bin.

Ich will zurück nach Deutschland. Ich will zurück in meine alte Welt. Ja, vor nur einigen Wochen wollte ich raus aus Deutschland. Ich wollte zurück zu meinem ehemaligen Freundeskreis, zu meinem Land, zu meiner Sprache, zu meiner Kultur, zu meiner Uni. Aber jetzt bin ich zurückgekommen, und es ist mir aufgefallen, daß die Dinge die ich vermisst habe, die Dinge die mir gefehlt haben – sie sind nicht mehr hier. Mein altes Leben an dieser Uni hat sich während meiner Abwesenheit in die Luft aufgelöst und fast nichts ist als Beweis seiner Existenz geblieben. Was früher meine alte Welt gewesen ist, ist jetzt die neue Welt geworden; und ich will nicht mehr in einer neuen Welt leben.

Dieses Begehren nach Deutschland stammt natürlich aus meinem Eindruck, ich sei hier irgendwie nicht mehr willkommen. Na gut, wenn meine ehemaligen Freunde an dieser Uni mich nicht mehr wollen, sollte ich eigentlich zurück nach Deutschland, wo die Leute sich wenigstens an meiner fremdheit etwas interessiert haben. Wo meine fremdheit gezählt hat. Wo die fremdheit nicht ein komisches und unbequemes Gefühl im Bauch war, sondern ein Abendteuer.

Ja, ganz ehrlich, manchmal ärgert mich diese Wurzellosigkeit - und am Beginn hab ich die Schuld meinen Freunden zugeschoben. Ich kann es ihnen aber nicht vorwerfen, sie seien für dieses komische Gefühl, dieses Schmerz im Bauch verantwortlich. Das sind sie natürlich nicht. Nein, dafür bin ich verantwortlich. Ich bin derjenige, der sich entschieden hat, das Land, die Uni, und auch meine Freunde hinterher zu lassen. Ich bin derjenige, der weggefahren ist, und ich bin derjenige, der sich während dieses Jahres wirklich verändert hat. Dies alles ist meine Schuld, und das ist wahrscheinlich das Schlimmste daran.

Ich habe schon immer in einer Ecke meines Verstands gewusst, daß dieser Tag, diese Zeit kommen würde. Und ich habe mich trotzdem entschieden, nach Deutschland zu gehen. Also ich müßte geglaubt haben, diese Zeit wäre dem Jahr in Deutschland doch wert. Und das stimmt eigentlich. Der Preis war nicht zu hoch. Das muss ich mir jetzt immer wieder sagen, obwohl ich es selbst nicht immer glaube.

Das einzige, was ich jetzt tun kann, ist versuchen, mich in diese jetzt neue, fremde Welt wieder einzumischen und das Positive daran zu finden. Das bedeutet jede Menge neue Freunde, neue Aktivitäten, und vor allem das Akzeptieren, daß das, was ich hier daheim erwartet habe und das, was dieses Jahr tatsächlich prägen wird wahrscheinlich nicht übereinstimmen werden. Und das muss nicht unbedingt was Negatives sein.

Das hier ist jetzt auch wieder ein neues Erlebnis. Ich muss jetzt das neue Abendteuer in der alten Welt finden.

Dumm gelaufen

So this morning I got up and all ready to go to class, grabbed my books and laptop and headed off to brave the rainy weather and get to the business college.

Got my morning latte from our Starbucks in the courtyard and headed up to the 3rd floor lecture hall. Sat down, got out all my books and my latptop, took out a pen, and started checking and answering email. That's right. I'm Mr. Productive. Mr. Senior business student. I know what's up.

Until the professor walked in, and I realized that I was sitting in room 316 and my class was in room 216.

Pay no attention to the spaz sneaking out of the room.

Quote of the Day

“Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.”

-Matthew Henry

Here We Go

Tonight is...*drumroll*....the first night that I have had to turn down going out because of homework. And we're only two days into the semester.

I think that this is going to be a busy semester.

Tonight I bought the Matthew Henry commentary on the Bible after wandering into Borders following my last class of the day. I almost bought another book to read just for kicks and giggles but then I figured this was probably a better use of the same 15 bucks. Sigh. So many books, and it seems like I'll have so little time to actually read them.

Durch den Monsun

So last night we had a huge monsoon that dumped - I kid you not - at least a foot and a half of water on downtown Tempe. Tyler and I were on our way to Target when we realized that we were no longer driving - we were sailing. The water on the roads was at least two feet deep, and was over the doorjamb. We could hear it sloshing on the sides and bottom of the car as we drove past people who were wading up to their knees and/or thighs in rainwater that gushed down the road like a river. We're both shocked the car didn't stall.

After our visit to Target we picked up Shannon and got her some Jack in the Box so she wouldn't die. I tasted a curly fry and was hungry myself, so I let out one of those satisfied groans that you do when you're hungry and you taste something good. Tyler and Shannon started laughing and making fun because it sounded like I was having a liiiiiittle too much fun with the curly fry, which of course elicited only further groans of ecstacy from the back seat. Then we hung out in the apartment for a while and Singer-Songwriter Shannon and Singer-Songwriter Tyler wrote a song on my guitar about how much "Matt Loves The Curly Fries, the Curly Fries, if he didn't have Curly Fries, he would DIE!"

It was a good night. Round two of classes today. Hi-Ho, silver, awaaay!

A German's Perspective: the War on Terror

Matthias Dapfner, Chief Executive of the huge German publisher Axel Springer AG, has written a blistering attack in DIE WELT, Germany's largest daily paper, against the timid reaction of Europe in the face of the Islamic threat.


EUROPE - THY NAME IS COWARDICE
(Commentary by Mathias Dapfner CEO, Axel Springer , AG)

A few days ago Henry Broder wrote in Welt am Sonntag, " Europe - your family name is appeasement." It's a phrase you can't get out of your head because it's so terribly true.

Appeasement cost millions of Jews and non-Jews their lives as England and France, allies at the time, negotiated and hesitated too long before they noticed that Hitler had to be fought, not bound to toothless agreements.

Appeasement legitimized and stabilized Communism in the Soviet Union , then East Germany , then all the rest of Eastern Europe where for decades, inhuman suppressive, murderous governments were glorified as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities.

Appeasement crippled Europe when genocide ran rampant in Kosovo, and even though we had absolute proof of ongoing mass-murder, we Europeans debated and debated and debated, and were still debating when finally the Americans had to come from halfway around the world, into Europe yet again, and do our work for us.

Rather than protecting democracy in the Middle East , European appeasement, camouflaged behind the fuzzy word "equidistance" now countenances suicide bombings in Israel by fundamentalist Palestinians.

Appeasement generates a mentality that allows Europe to ignore nearly 300,000 victims of Saddam's torture and murder machinery and, motivated by the self-righteousness of the peace-movement, has the gall to issue bad grades to George Bush . Even as it is uncovered that the loudest critics of the American action in Iraq made illicit billions, no, TENS of billions, in the corrupt U.N. Oil-for-Food program.

And now we are faced with a particularly grotesque form of appeasement. How is Germany reacting to the escalating violence by Islamic fundamentalists in Holland and elsewhere? By suggesting that we really should have a "Muslim Holiday" in Germany ?

I wish I were joking, but I am not. A substantial fraction of our (German) Government, and if the polls are to be believed, the German people, actually believe that creating an Official State "Muslim Holiday" will somehow spare us from the wrath of the fanatical Islamists.

One cannot help but recall Britain 's Neville Chamberlain waving the laughable treaty signed by Adolph Hitler , and declaring European "Peace in our time".

What else has to happen before the European public and its political leadership get it? There is a sort of crusade underway, an especially perfidious crusade consisting of systematic attacks by fanatic Muslims, focused on civilians, directed against our free, open Western societies, and intent upon Western Civilization's utter destruction.

It is a conflict that will most likely last longer than any of the great military conflicts of the last century - a conflict conducted by an enemy that cannot be tamed by "tolerance" and "accommodation" but is actually spurred on by such gestures, which have proven to be, and will always be taken by the Islamists for signs of weakness.

Only two recent American Presidents had the courage needed for anti-appeasement: Reagan and Bush.

His American critics may quibble over the details, but we Europeans know the truth. We saw it first hand: Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War, freeing half of the German people from nearly 50 years of terror and virtual slavery. And Bush, supported only by the Social Democrat Blair, acting on moral conviction, recognized the danger in the Islamic War against democracy. His place in history will have to be evaluated after a number of years have passed.

In the meantime, Europe sits back with charismatic self-confidence in the multicultural corner, instead of defending liberal society's values and being an attractive center of power on the same playing field as the true great powers, America and China .

On the contrary - we Europeans present ourselves, in contrast to those arrogant Americans", as the World Champions of "tolerance", which even (Germany 's Interior Minister) Otto Schily justifiably criticizes.

Why? Because we're so moral? I fear it's more because we're so materialistic so devoid of a moral compass.

For his policies, Bush risks the fall of the dollar, huge amounts of additional national debt, and a massive and persistent burden on the American economy - because unlike almost all of Europe, Bush realizes what is at stake - literally everything

While we criticize the "capitalistic robber barons" of America because they seem too sure of their priorities, we timidly defend our Social Welfare systems. Stay out of it! It could get expensive! We'd rather discuss reducing our 35-hour workweek or our dental coverage, or our 4 weeks of paid vacation... Or listen to TV pastors preach about the need to "reach out to terrorists.
To understand and forgive".

These days, Europe reminds me of an old woman who, with shaking hands, frantically hides her last pieces of jewelry when she notices a robber breaking into a neighbor's house.

Appeasement? Europe , thy name is Cowardice. God Bless America

Quote of the Day

"Die Menschen haben die Bahnstrecke über die Alpen von Wien nach Trieste gebaut, bevor es einen Zug gab, der dort fahren konnte.
Sie haben sie troztdem gebaut, weil sie gewußt haben: der Zug wird kommen."

Under the Tuscan Sun

Slow Start

Well, having been here on campus for a few days, the dust has more or less settled. I am still not 100% moved into the apartment, although the kitchen is fully unpacked and mostly stocked. There are still some boxes all over my room and although I've bought notebooks and pens, I don't have any binders or dividers for my classes yet, which is okay, all things considered. I just need to make a trip to the bookstore at some point and get stocked up.

I'm excited for classes to start in order to give me something to do. It has been driving me insane not really having anything to do the past few days; I spent four hours sitting around watching TV on Friday. Four hours. I haven't watched ANYTHING for that long in years. I hardly ever watch TV in the first place.

I can only speculate that this means culture shock is still raging - I've got all the symptoms of it that I had in Germany, mostly apathy and fatige. I just don't have the drive to go anywhere or do anything unless it's with other people. I still can't stand being alone, and I've been alone for most of today, although Tyler did check into the apartment this morning, thank God. I was about to go stir crazy.

But I am trying not to let the odd sense of lonliness get to me. Today I helped out at the BHC Fall Assembly. I was working the table for the Barrett Mentoring Program, and stupidly enough we hadn't made any flyers to hand out to people to advertise that today is the last sign-up day. Sooo after the assembly began I rushed over to the library, stopping at the MU on the way to create a flyer to hand out, and printed out 50 copies for them to hand out to the next group of people that were going to be coming to the second assembly. It felt good to be getting something - ANYTHING - done.

This afternoon, instead of walking alllllll the way back to the MU to get on the internet (again), I decided to take advantage of the fact that there were no other distractions in the apartment at this time and read one of the German paperbacks that I bought at the outdoor sale in Germany a few months ago. It's called "Tuscany Forever" and is a collection of stories that an Italian tour guide tells about the hilarious American tourists that he has led around the region in his 25 years of touring. I'm enjoying it so far, and it's good to read some German.

The only problem was that I got sleepy and ended up laying down on my bed to take a quick power nap. A quick power nap turned into a 3-hour nap, and I only woke up at around 5. Now here I sit in the Borders bookstore cafe, which - glücklicherweise - is close enough to campus to pick up the WiFi signal. A cup of coffee on the left hand side of my iBook and my book on the right, I'm settling in for a couple hours of relaxation and more reading.

I miss Germany already.

Here I Go Again On My Own

The road trip was, in short, amazing.

I left Tacoma at 11:15am on Monday morning after finishing my appointments and hit the road. The drive from Tacoma through Oregon was brutal until I finally got my first coffee of the day around 3 or 4pm, at which point I got really, really hyper and happy and turned up the music really loud. It was a great time.
Coming down out of the mountains that border Oregon and California was the first high point of the trip. The sun was beginning to set, and the air was warm and golden. A storm was rolling in from the west over Mount Shasta and the sky turned a beautiful orange as large, hot raindrops began to pepper the windshield. I kept the sunroof and the windows open, allowing the rain into the car and feeling the warm night air rush by.
I made it to Redding, CA around 8:30pm and stopped at a motel for the night (distance covered on day one: 610 miles). Next morning (Tuesday), I was up at 5:30 and on the road with an extra-hot Starbucks latte and a bagel by 6:45. The sunrise was incredible.

The next 500 miles of freeway looked like this:

Long. Straight. Relatively boring. About this time I started getting tired of the CDs I'd brought. I also got coffee 3 more times on this stretch.

Then came Los Angeles. I reached the city limits of L.A. at 1:30pm on Tuesday and made my way through the insanity that is the L.A. traffic network system. Let it be known that I will NEVER move to Los Angeles. The air is filthy (it's constantly cloudy due to the ugly brown smog that never leaves the sky), it's crowded, and the people drive like idiots. Three hours later, I was finally clear of San Bernardino and Palm Springs, and the freeway opened up into a beautiful desert landscape with softly rolling hills that the freeway weaved over and around. I was able to set the cruise control at a comfortable 75mph and just cruise through the left lane as everyone slower than me moved to the right.

I crossed the Arizona border with much elation and turned up the music again. The sun began to set and I reached the city limits of Phoenix just as it had dipped below the horizon. I turned off the A/C, opened the windows and sunroof, and cruised through the streets, enjoying the humid, warm air. It was hotter than hot, but the air felt sooooo good. It's just as humid (if not more) than it was in Germany, but for some reason in Phoenix it just feels great at night. Distance covered, day two: 900 miles. Total drive time, day two: 13 hours. Time from begin to finish: 22.5 hours.

Next morning, i was up and rarin' to get to campus by 9am . . .

Back at ASU

. . . I reached The Towers (my new apartment complex) by 10am on Wednesday. The move-in process was streamlined but not easy. I had to park the car at a meter across the street and haul my stuff out of the trunk, box-by-box, and into the elevator to take me to our new, eighth-floor penthouse (at least, that's what it feels like).

Tyler doesn't move in until Saturday, so it was up to me to get the apartment furnished with some basics. After moving in, I realized that I had neither food nor cooking utensils (the apartment was bare-bones. There are not even wastebaskets). The next stop was Target, to load up on kitchen supplies, including some pots and pans and dishware (all of which came in a handy 75- piece "Kitchen-in-a-Box" set I got for a mere $30. What a steal).

Afterward I went to Safeway to get food. Weirdness at Safeway:

1. Shopping for groceries is a whole new ball came when you know that you live in an apartment with a full-size refrigerator and dishwasher instead of a dorm room. You realize that you have no size restrictions, no weight restrictions, you don't have to shop based on what you can carry. The odd reality of the fact that I am now "on my own" struck me as I realized that I needed everything from milk and cereal to salt and pepper. Stocking a kitchen is no easy or inexpensive task. $187 later, I have the basics in the kitchen, including...
2. A case of Heineken. Buying beer on my own at the grocery store for the first time was surreal. In fact I almost forgot it. It was irritating to be carded (again), but hey what can you do.

Now the apartment is slowly beginning to look like it's inhabited. My room is taking shape, and as soon as it has some semblance of order I'll get some pics up. I lucked out and was assigned the room that faces campus, which, when you're on the 8th floor of a high-rise, is pretty awesome. I still have a lot left to unpack and I'm beginning to realize that the apartment is in definite need of the IKEA touch, which Tyler and I are going to remedy sometime soon. That will definitely be another few hundred bucks.

But that's okay, because (and this is one of the wonderful things about this whole experience) THIS time, I don't have to buy things with the worry of what I'm going to do with them at the end of the year. Furnishing the room or the apartment is no longer a question of what I can stand to live without for nine months, but rather a question of what I can afford - the way it should be. The fact that I am now LIVING in Arizona for good is great, because I can buy furniture or shelving or whatever with the comforting knowledge that it will follow me to my next apartment or house, which will almost certainly be here in Arizona. In any case, the days of me having to worry about shipping things back and forth between Phoenix and Seattle are officially over. Any move in the future will be done by car, and my car, at that, as I will have to get a car this spring so that I can work in Phoenix over the summer.

It is a wonderful feeling when you realize that you are now living practically on your own. I'm out of the nest (physically of not financially) and that is a great place to be.

Being back on campus at ASU is still a strange experience. It's so awesome to be back on my old stomping grounds, to be around familiar places and people that have changed a bit since I've been gone but are still the great places and people that I have missed so much during my year abroad. It's also been an interesting experience getting used to the heat and humidity again. For those of you who think that Arizona is a "dry heat" all year, you could not be more wrong. In the summer, we get temperatures over 100 degrees daily and the humidity rises to as much as 70%. You East-coasters know what it's like to feel like you're swimming in the air, and that's almost what it feels like here, although not quite as humid. The air is thick and heavy and it's 110 degrees outside, so needless to say I'm becoming reaccustomed to flitting from air-conditioned building to building and basically constantly sweating. It's two-shower-a-day-season again, people.

There has, so far, been only one downside to being home, and I think I speak for all of us that are returning from our study abroad experiences when I say this:

I am afraid to be alone.

I have never really been afraid of being alone before. But suddenly, it's like if I don't have a friend with me at all times around campus or at the Towers I get this weird pit in my stomach and I feel worried without even knowing what I'm worried about. My theory: We all expected a huge fanfare upon our return to ASU (or wherever), and we've all disovered that that's not been the case exactly the way we imagined. Our friends are delighted to see us, to be sure, but they've also got their own lives and they've gone on without us for an entire year. It's going to take some time until we're reintegrated. It is, in short, EXACTLY like freshman year, where, if we weren't out "doing" something or hanging out with someone, we felt as if we were wasting time - or worse, MISSING OUT on something. This is of course ridiculous - I have plenty to do and so does everyone else, and of course no one is shunning or avoiding me. But it's that same sort of panicky discomfort that we felt freshman year and even during our first few days in Germany, when we were largely alone and totally uncertain of our surroundings.

All in all, being on campus again is GREAT and I am so excited for classes to start on Monday.

Taking the Long Way

Well, tomorrow is the big day: I am leaving on my 3-day solo road trip to Arizona! Just me, a car, a bunch of CDs, and 1,500 miles of freeway. I am so excited. The car, amazingly, already has most of my stuff in it. For those interested, my ride is a dead-sexy brand-new white Chevy Malibu. It's a total chick magnet, let me tell you. Ladies, the line forms over there. Thanks, rental car company!

First orders of business before leaving town: drop by the optometrist and pick up my equally dead-sexy and stylish new glasses/contacts, then off to the dentist for that last-minute checkup. Then it's freeway-ho and the destination goal for Monday is Medford, Oregon (or northern California). On the second day I hope to reach Phoenix if I can get an early enough start, but that's going to depend on time and energy constraints. We'll see.

The weirdest part about this move is the knowledge that it's THE move. Over the weekend we had some family dinners and my extended family members were asking me, "So when are you coming back to Washington?" And I realized . . . I had no idea. I mean, obviously I'll be back on holidays and whatnot, but as far as moving back - that is uncertain. I will undoubtedly be in Phoenix at least through next summer, and after that I'll basiclaly be graduated and working. That means I could end up staying in Phoenix for who knows how long! This means that, for all intents and purposes, this trip is essentially me leaving the nest. And that feels gooooood. The open road in front of me is a perfect literal and figurative symbol of the future.

I'M GOING BACK TO PHOENIX!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The Inevitable Heimweh

I knew that about a week after I got home, I would begin missing Germany again. Like clockwork, it has happened. I just checked the webcam for Tübingen's marketplace. It's market day in Tübingen. Meanwhile, here it's not even day.

Finishing the final update video - the video that sums up the entire year and which I will hopefully have up here soon - has also brought this Heimweh to the surface. It's this time when the couldas, the wouldas, and the shouldas come back to haunt you. I wish that I could go back and breathe in that market just one more time, just for a moment. Take the bus back up to WHO. Meet friends at a pub and have a halbe of Hefe.

Yes, I will be back. Hopefully very soon. It's just not the easiest thing in the world being home right now, and I've realized that I have indeed had some pretty severe culture shock. I've completely unplugged from life in Germany and made conscious efforts to minimize my contact with anyone from my time there. Why I've felt the urge to do that is beyond me, I just know that over the past week and a half I have not wanted to dwell on it. Probably because I knew that when I started doing that, I'd begin feeling the way that I do now.

My friends stateside have been distant as well. I think there's going to be an adjustment period for us all, getting used to my proximity again. None of us are used to me being able to actually call them them now, or vice versa. We're all busy wrapping up the summer and getting ready to go back to ASU. I'm hoping that after a few weeks on campus I'll feel at home again, but I even though I'm "home" I still feel like a bit of an outsider. Meanwhile, all my friends have developed new "circles" of friends and I almost feel like a freshman being thrown in with a bunch of seniors - trying to break into a mold that's already been set.

I am excited to take my road trip down to Arizona this Monday. It's going to be 2.5 days of just me, a rental car, a bunch of CDs, and 1,500 miles of freeway. A good time to get my thoughts in order and leave the worries behind. I can hardly wait to get back to Arizona State.

Vacation

We left on our family vacation to the ocean today. After getting to our oceanfront cabin, buying all our necessary foodstuffs, and settling in and reading for a while, I decided to pop open my laptop so I could do a little work on the videos I've been making (the weather has been gross since we got here and is only now beginning to clear up). On a whim, I decided to turn on my AirPort card and see if there were any networks nearby.

And there is. And I'm on it.

Matthew is very, very happy.

Obligatory Update

It's sad...there's some great alliteration in that title but it doesn't show because of the way it's spelled.

Anyway, not a lot going on (hence the lack of updating - see, I TOLD all of you that once I got back from Germany there would be nothing to update on). I do have some news, however. I have decided to drive down to Arizona after all, so I will be leaving either Monday the 14th or Tuesday the 15th for a 2-day roadtrip. Exciting. I have wanted to do the solo road trip since my freshman year, so finally it's being brought to fruition. Just me, a rental car, a bunch of CDs, and 1,500 miles of freeway. Awwwwesome. Plus it's way easier that way because I don't have to ship stuff, I can just pile it all in the car. I will be happy if I don't ever go into another post office again.

Last night was mom's corporate party here at the house. One of her coworker's daughters and I discovered that our parents (her dad, my mom) have been scheming all year to get us to hook up. Good Lord. It begins. Watch out kids - when you pass the 21 mark your family starts in on the "when are you going to get married and start giving us (great)grandkids?" pitch. Gaah! It'll happen when it happens! Geez! Now lemme alone, I'm busy trying to finish school and get a job so I can conquer the world and make billions of dollars.

The most entertaining part about parents trying to set up their kids is their criteria for compatability. My mom and this girl's dad were scheming to get us together based on the fact that we both studied abroad and have high GPAs. I am dead serious. Can you IMAGINE?

Me: So....what's your GPA?
Girl: I'm a 3.8
Me: NO WAY! I'm a 3.84!!!!
Girl: OMG!!
Me: We should go over in that corner and make out.
Girl: Absolutely! Let's get your shirt off.

Honestly.

Anyway, it's time for me to finish this paper and get it sent off. It's down to T-Town today, and Monday we leave for the ocean. Wooo.

80 Weird Questions

because it's 1am and i have nothing better to do.

Do you watch the Gilmore Girls?
I cannot stand how they talk. So no, I don't.

Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
I can only take so much Jack. i think he's grossly overrated. seriously, what's all the hype? actually i guess my aversion to Jack is mostly based on the fact that he became the big "IN" thing that you just HAD to listen to if you were going to have any taste in music whatsoever because EVERYBODY listens to Jack Johnson and he's just amazing and blah blah blah.

Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?
"Oh, poor me! I'm soooooo rich! My life is soooo awful! I have these horrible emotional and social problems! Woe is me! WhatEVER am I going to do about the latest social crisis?" Give me a break. I hate teen dramas.

Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.s?
Guilty. Greatest Hits CD.

Which radio stations are your favorites?
not a fan of the radio.

Are you a Lost fanatic?
i got sort of hooked on it and then stopped watching it when i realized that the way they do cliffhangers on that show (dragging them out over the ENTIRE season) irritated me, so I stopped.

[[Be honest]]

Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
no.

Queen?
no.

Alanis Morisette?
yup, 2. "head over feet" and "ironic"

Do you watch Family Guy regularly?
no, i tend to binge on entire seasons at a time.

King of the Hill?
nah. it's moderately funny though.

[[Admit it]]

Do you read trashy romance novels often?
LOL. nope.

Do you really work out every day?
Nope

Have you ever eaten an entire pint, or more, ice cream by yourself?
nope

Have you ever eaten nothing but junk food for a week straight?
nope

Do you shower every single day?
nearly without exception, yes. the only times i don't are when there is some sort of weird circumstance (like when i know that i'm going to be laying around allll day long)

Buy a Christmas/birthday present & instead keep it for yourself?
nope

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car when you're driving alone?
oh absolutely. actually that's one of the reasons i like driving so much.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one is home?
heavens no. that's too risky. what if someone walked in the house while i was in there? hence the appeal of driving.

Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12?
yup

Have you ever looked forward to going to school?
every fall.

[[The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary]]

Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they weren't?
"with" me? as in dating me? nope.

Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school?
oh geez.

Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didnt ask her/him out because you were afraid?
story of my life. although the last girl that i didn't have the guts to ask out was probably back in high school...since then there are simply no prospects. i'm really, really picky.

Have you ever written a poem/story about your love life?
nope

Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but your crush?
nah

Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance?
nope

[The Questions You Love: Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones]]
Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
nope. where's the fun in that?

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
i am the KING of freakish cleanliness and organization. i write lots of lists.

Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
yup, Brazil.

Do you know how to knit?
nope

Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover?
nope

Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile?
ummm..that's just weird.

Do you keep a diary or journal online?
i keep a journal in my computer, where it's safely password-protected.

When you open your closet, what is the dominant color of your closet?
dark blue.

[[Truly Unusual This or That Questions]]

Baskin Robbins or Coldstone
COLDSTONE

America or Canada?
HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh man, that's FUNNY.

Physics or chemistry?
Physics. even though i hated it.

Earphones or headphones?
Headphones.

Pink or teal?
i'm actually wearing my famous teal polo shirt right now.

Earrings or a ring?
neither.

Commitment or casual dating?
commitment. the idea of casual dating just makes me cringe. who wants to be in a relationship where there are no promises or obligations and you're essentially just using each other?

Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?
tough. i'd go with lord of the rings, it's a great allegory of the Bible.

Fly or road trip?
road trip. unless it's cross-country, then i'd rather fly.

Starbucks or Caribou?
there's a coffee company called caribou? where's that? canada?

[[Another Wave of Random Questions]]

What is your favorite Disney movie?
hmmmmmmm. dunno. it would definitely be a recent one though, one of those movies that's so saturated with subtle adult humor that it's just hilarious.

How much jewelry do you own?
none

Have you ever bought clothing at sears?
sears sells clothing?

Reverse Culture Shock: Musings

-Holy crap, gallons of milk are HUGE.
-Wait, you mean I have to...tip the waitress?
-Gas is $3 a gallon. Whoa....that's cheap.
-What's wrong with this money? It's so long and thin.
-It is SO weird passing people on the street and actually hearing English EVERY TIME instead of just SOMETIMES.
-Starbucks. Everywhere. ::Euphoria::
-What happened to the busses?
-You mean...I can have...another soda? For free?
-No, you may not see my I.D. I haven't been showing my I.D. for a year now. What makes you think you're the special waiter of the evening? Now go get me a beer or I'll give you a crappy tip.
-Why is everything edible suddenly so expensive? That ice cream looks amazing, but it's not worth $3.50 to me.
-What's the English word for that again?
-I can sit. In a cafe. With coffee. And study. And no one is going to bug me. This is freaking awesome.
-Could you all drive a little FASTER please? You're killing me with this 60mph crap.
-Everything is so big.
-My cell phone rocks. I can talk as long as I want. Without some special flatrate plan. Awesome.
-Blogging drive: ZERO.