Back at ASU

. . . I reached The Towers (my new apartment complex) by 10am on Wednesday. The move-in process was streamlined but not easy. I had to park the car at a meter across the street and haul my stuff out of the trunk, box-by-box, and into the elevator to take me to our new, eighth-floor penthouse (at least, that's what it feels like).

Tyler doesn't move in until Saturday, so it was up to me to get the apartment furnished with some basics. After moving in, I realized that I had neither food nor cooking utensils (the apartment was bare-bones. There are not even wastebaskets). The next stop was Target, to load up on kitchen supplies, including some pots and pans and dishware (all of which came in a handy 75- piece "Kitchen-in-a-Box" set I got for a mere $30. What a steal).

Afterward I went to Safeway to get food. Weirdness at Safeway:

1. Shopping for groceries is a whole new ball came when you know that you live in an apartment with a full-size refrigerator and dishwasher instead of a dorm room. You realize that you have no size restrictions, no weight restrictions, you don't have to shop based on what you can carry. The odd reality of the fact that I am now "on my own" struck me as I realized that I needed everything from milk and cereal to salt and pepper. Stocking a kitchen is no easy or inexpensive task. $187 later, I have the basics in the kitchen, including...
2. A case of Heineken. Buying beer on my own at the grocery store for the first time was surreal. In fact I almost forgot it. It was irritating to be carded (again), but hey what can you do.

Now the apartment is slowly beginning to look like it's inhabited. My room is taking shape, and as soon as it has some semblance of order I'll get some pics up. I lucked out and was assigned the room that faces campus, which, when you're on the 8th floor of a high-rise, is pretty awesome. I still have a lot left to unpack and I'm beginning to realize that the apartment is in definite need of the IKEA touch, which Tyler and I are going to remedy sometime soon. That will definitely be another few hundred bucks.

But that's okay, because (and this is one of the wonderful things about this whole experience) THIS time, I don't have to buy things with the worry of what I'm going to do with them at the end of the year. Furnishing the room or the apartment is no longer a question of what I can stand to live without for nine months, but rather a question of what I can afford - the way it should be. The fact that I am now LIVING in Arizona for good is great, because I can buy furniture or shelving or whatever with the comforting knowledge that it will follow me to my next apartment or house, which will almost certainly be here in Arizona. In any case, the days of me having to worry about shipping things back and forth between Phoenix and Seattle are officially over. Any move in the future will be done by car, and my car, at that, as I will have to get a car this spring so that I can work in Phoenix over the summer.

It is a wonderful feeling when you realize that you are now living practically on your own. I'm out of the nest (physically of not financially) and that is a great place to be.

Being back on campus at ASU is still a strange experience. It's so awesome to be back on my old stomping grounds, to be around familiar places and people that have changed a bit since I've been gone but are still the great places and people that I have missed so much during my year abroad. It's also been an interesting experience getting used to the heat and humidity again. For those of you who think that Arizona is a "dry heat" all year, you could not be more wrong. In the summer, we get temperatures over 100 degrees daily and the humidity rises to as much as 70%. You East-coasters know what it's like to feel like you're swimming in the air, and that's almost what it feels like here, although not quite as humid. The air is thick and heavy and it's 110 degrees outside, so needless to say I'm becoming reaccustomed to flitting from air-conditioned building to building and basically constantly sweating. It's two-shower-a-day-season again, people.

There has, so far, been only one downside to being home, and I think I speak for all of us that are returning from our study abroad experiences when I say this:

I am afraid to be alone.

I have never really been afraid of being alone before. But suddenly, it's like if I don't have a friend with me at all times around campus or at the Towers I get this weird pit in my stomach and I feel worried without even knowing what I'm worried about. My theory: We all expected a huge fanfare upon our return to ASU (or wherever), and we've all disovered that that's not been the case exactly the way we imagined. Our friends are delighted to see us, to be sure, but they've also got their own lives and they've gone on without us for an entire year. It's going to take some time until we're reintegrated. It is, in short, EXACTLY like freshman year, where, if we weren't out "doing" something or hanging out with someone, we felt as if we were wasting time - or worse, MISSING OUT on something. This is of course ridiculous - I have plenty to do and so does everyone else, and of course no one is shunning or avoiding me. But it's that same sort of panicky discomfort that we felt freshman year and even during our first few days in Germany, when we were largely alone and totally uncertain of our surroundings.

All in all, being on campus again is GREAT and I am so excited for classes to start on Monday.