I knew that about a week after I got home, I would begin missing Germany again. Like clockwork, it has happened. I just checked the webcam for Tübingen's marketplace. It's market day in Tübingen. Meanwhile, here it's not even day.
Finishing the final update video - the video that sums up the entire year and which I will hopefully have up here soon - has also brought this Heimweh to the surface. It's this time when the couldas, the wouldas, and the shouldas come back to haunt you. I wish that I could go back and breathe in that market just one more time, just for a moment. Take the bus back up to WHO. Meet friends at a pub and have a halbe of Hefe.
Yes, I will be back. Hopefully very soon. It's just not the easiest thing in the world being home right now, and I've realized that I have indeed had some pretty severe culture shock. I've completely unplugged from life in Germany and made conscious efforts to minimize my contact with anyone from my time there. Why I've felt the urge to do that is beyond me, I just know that over the past week and a half I have not wanted to dwell on it. Probably because I knew that when I started doing that, I'd begin feeling the way that I do now.
My friends stateside have been distant as well. I think there's going to be an adjustment period for us all, getting used to my proximity again. None of us are used to me being able to actually call them them now, or vice versa. We're all busy wrapping up the summer and getting ready to go back to ASU. I'm hoping that after a few weeks on campus I'll feel at home again, but I even though I'm "home" I still feel like a bit of an outsider. Meanwhile, all my friends have developed new "circles" of friends and I almost feel like a freshman being thrown in with a bunch of seniors - trying to break into a mold that's already been set.
I am excited to take my road trip down to Arizona this Monday. It's going to be 2.5 days of just me, a rental car, a bunch of CDs, and 1,500 miles of freeway. A good time to get my thoughts in order and leave the worries behind. I can hardly wait to get back to Arizona State.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
Stop it! your posts make me sad, either because you don't miss the Tue or because you do. But i miss it, and I miss ou and Almir and and and.
very sad. have a good trip to az though
sorry that last one was beth
matt, even though i was only gone half a year, i feel exactly the same way. it is as if everyone moved on but i moved on in a completely different direction and now we are trying to meet up again. it just doesn't work all that well.
i cannot wait until you come back. I'm sorry that I havent been in much contact with you (or anyone else) - we've had 13 hour days for training the last few weeks, now it's movein almost, and my brother's here. I have to remind myself to not die of stress. lol. get here soon, I'm waiting.
Post a Comment