Relief in Fragility

Even though Redemption Group is officially over, the sense of fragility that hung over all of life during that time has remained, in large part, intact. I am beginning to wonder if the Lord is trying to teach me something about the emotional state that I've held toward him for so long - a state of guarded trepidation and a lack of surrender. Lately it seems like all I know how to do anymore is collapse in surrender. And being able to do that is pretty amazing.

Jesus, I am continually in awe of the fact that you continue to put up with me, continue to pursue me, and continue to bless me even as I sprint in the other direction. So often these days I just don't know how to respond to Your incredible grace other than just weep with joy and gratitude, finding myself in a place that is almost comically childlike.

I have missed You. I'm so sorry for running. Give me a heart that runs to you, not away from you.