"The turning of the Israelites hearts toward Egypt at Mount Sinai was merely the culmination of many longing looks over their shoulders that began almost the day they left Egypt."
-Redemption
We look at the Israelites' impatience for Moses to come down from Mount Sinai and their subsequent fashioning of their own idol as hilariously idiotic. How could they be so stupid as to melt down all their gold and make a cow out of it, then fall down in worship before it? Surely we are not so foolish.
But oh, we are. And I am.
Every impure thought that I relish and then allow to linger before finally brushing off; every moment spent thinking about how badly I want the deep, sinful longings of my heart to be fulfilled; every "second look" I allow myself - these are the glances I throw over my shoulder at my Egypt. They are not innocent. They are not okay. And they are not secrets to Him.
They are the chains that hold me here. And I am a fool to think that life would be better if I went back to Egypt. I am so pathetically content making mudpies in my slum that I cannot fathom the idea of making sandcastles on the ocean shore. Mudpies are safe - sandcastles are large, imposing, and risky.
Leaving Egypt is risky. Leaving Egypt is difficult. And leaving Egypt scares the living hell out of me.
But will I surrender these chains in repentance? Will I trust Jesus to part the seas that stand before me as the Enemy bears down in the distance? Will I then descend to the dark ocean floor and trust that He will keep the mighty waters at bay? And once on the other side, safe from my pursuer, will I trust Him to provide just enough, each day, to make it through? Or will I continue to throw glances over my shoulder at the very bondage that my gracious Redeemer is trying to save me from?
He has promised redemption, renewal, and recreation. So why am I still so preoccupied with slavery, stagnation, and death? In the stillness every night I can hear Him calling.
Run. Throw off your chains, trust me, keep your eyes on me, and run. Don't look back.
Just run.
Monday, May 25, 2009
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