Reverse-Engineer Your Life

I've realized that lately I have lost sight of what is really important in my life. I haven't placed enough emphasis on the Gospel, on Gospel community, and on planning ahead, on taking real chances. Looking at a pareto of the things I spend my time on would be pretty embarrassing.

Work in particular has consumed too much. Work and wealth have too long been my idols. I sacrifice everything for their sake. Work forms the paradigm for the answer to every "How are you doing?" and hangs over every part of every day, even when I'm not there. And because it has become everything, it can't be anything to me when I'm actually there - I'm too drained from thinking about it all the time, from feeding it all the time, from trying to do it all. There is a fine line between working well, building your career with purpose, and simply working way too much on all the wrong things. I'm on the wrong side of that line.

The result is that I have found myself in this bizarre vacuum of just making it through each successive day. No real goal in sight, no 5-year plan; no 1-year plan, for that matter. Maybe that's why it's been so hard to get out of bed lately. Without real purpose we eventually wither. I have felt like I'm withering. Rather than wait around for opportunities at work to come to me, it's time to get out and chase them. Abandon fear of looking like an idiot.

I haven't allowed Christ to cause me to really risk too much because I'm too comfortable. Change is good - as long as it's the change I wanted and planned for. Otherwise it's just too scary. I like feeling like I'm in control, and that needs to change.

It's time to really go out on a limb and chase the things that I've always thought were unattainable because they weren't "safe"- personally, professionally, relationally, and spiritually. I need to reverse-engineer my life and live it with greater purpose. Intentionality.

Pastor Tim's sermon at Mars Hill Downtown today was incredibly convicting. It's true: no one dying alone in a nursing home wishes that they had spent more time at the office, amassed greater wealth, or collected more material possessions. I don't want that to be me.

Here goes. Jesus, establish my steps.