Saturation

I haven't gotten really personal on here for a while and I think that I need to for the sake of my sanity. Plus I'm sure you're all sick of a purely event-based run-down of how things are going in Germany.

I am so unbelievably ready to leave this place it's sickening. Not because I hate it or anything like that, on the contrary I love it. But I feel as though I've gotten everything out of this place that I'm going to get. It's like suddenly there's nothing new under the sun anymore. I feel an increasing desire to retreat into solitude. Whether this is because I need time away from the people here or because I just need to get my head in order I don't know. I think that most of it is just my need for some breathing space, some time to focus on the things, the important things, that I have neglected all year long. Things like school and God. To put it simply, I want to hold up my figurative hands and yell, "TIME OUT!!!" I am exhausted, I am angry, I am sad, and worst of all I'm incredibly volatile, which my poor friends have undoubtedly noticed. I just can't seem to get a hold of myself.

This is why I am strongly considering spending my Pfingstwoche vacation completely alone. Matt needs to reboot, and to do that, he needs to get far, far away. I'm thinking hiking solo in the Alps or a short excursion to the Black Forest. Wherever I go and whatever I do, it must be alone and it must be far.

Leaving Germany will be a sad, sad time for me. But I'm also ready to leave. This stage of life is saturated and I'm ready for the next one.