Heimweh (Homesickness)

Homesickness is really quite a beautiful thing. I miss Germany a lot, I really do, but honestly I'm enjoying it rather than suffering it. Why? Because the fact that I feel homesick for a foreign country is just so unbelievably cool.

Don't get me wrong, I love being back on campus here at ASU and I'm having a great time. At the same time, though, I'm at the point in the being-back-at-home phase where I have pretty much adjusted back to my native culture. This affords me the opportunity to really sit back and reflect on my time in Germany with a clearer mind; to discover what it is that I really learned about myself and about life in general.

So lately I find myself looking at my pictures from Germany and just taking it all in, reliving it in my mind. I loved Germany before I left for last year, but after living for a year there, I fell even deeper in love with it. It's become my one, all-consuming passion. And the odd thing is that I couldn't even tell you WHY.

There is something beautiful about that country in the littlest, most insignificant details of life there. The air smells and even feels different; it is heavy with thousands of years of history. I miss the ancient houses, the buzz of the marketplace, and the chic, hip European feel of the big cities. I miss the trains, subways, and streetcars. I even miss my 3-hour lectures in the university.

The more that I think about these things, the more determined I become to return as soon as possible. Let me reiterate: it's not that I don't like my life here in the States or that I'm not happy here; I am. But ask anyone who has lived abroad and they'll tell you that after doing that, your life splits. It's no longer bound to one continent. I'm here, at home, but I'm also away from my other home in Germany.

Who knows how long it will be until I go back and for how long it will be; it could be as soon as next August or September depending on where I get a job. For now, i'm going to let the chips fall where they may, allow God to lead me where He wants me, and enjoy life here and now while enjoying the bliss of my memories of Germany.