Gepriesen sei Gott, der Vater unseres Herrn Jesus Christus! In seinem großen Erbarmen hat er uns zum zweiten Mal geboren und mit einer lebendigen Hoffnung erfüllt. Diese Hoffnung hat ihren festen Grund darin, daß Jesus Christus vom Tod auferstanden ist. Sie richtet sich auf das neue Leben, das er schon jetzt im Himmel für euch bereithält als einen Besitz, der niemals vergeht oder verdirbt oder aufgezehrt wird. Wenn ihr ihm fest vertraut, wird er seine starke Hand über euch halten und euch bewahren, so daß ihr gerettet werdet und am Ende der Zeit das unvergängliche Leben bekommt, das er euch zugedacht hat.
Deshalb seid ihr voll Freude, auch wenn ihr jetzt für kurze Zeit leiden müßt und auf die verschiedensten Proben gestellt werdet. Das geschieht nur, damit euer Vertrauen auf Gott sich bewähren kann. Wie das vergängliche Gold im Feuer auf seine Echtheit geprüft wird, so wird euer Vertrauen, das viel kostbarer ist als Gold, im Feuer des Leidens geprüft. Wenn es sich als echt erweist, wird Gott euch mit Ehre und Herrlichkeit belohnen an dem Tag, an dem Jesus Christus sich in seiner Herrlichkeit zeigt. Ihn liebt ihr, obwohl ihr ihn nie gesehen habt. Ihm vertraut ihr, obwohl ihr ihn nicht sehen könnt. Darum seid ihr schon jetzt von unaussprechlicher Freude und seligem Jubel erfüllt. Denn ihr seid gewiß, daß euer Vertrauen euch die endgültige Rettung, das unvergängliche Leben, bringen wird.
1 Petrus 1:3-9
(English: 1 Peter 1:3-9)
I have taken to reading my German translation of the New Testament and praying in German. I have found that praying in German is such an amazingly beneficial thing for me to do; it restricts my vocabulary and prevents me from getting carried away in praying for praying's sake. When praying in German, I can only express the simplest desires of my heart, speaking, quite literally, much like a child. Tonight I came across this passage while reading 1 Peter in my German NT. Something about reading the Bible in German makes it come alive for me. After reading this, I finally understand what it means to be joyful in affliction.
We all have one specific demon, one specific pain, that gnaws on our souls incessantly. This demon, this pain, causes us to ask ourselves our life's most important question. This question is different for everyone. But no matter what the question is, no matter what form this personal demon takes, it is always the one that causes us our greatest pain and suffering. We rarely share this pain with anyone else, because this question is always tied to our deepest and darkest secrets.
In the German translation of this passage, Peter describes this question as "the fire of suffering." I love that. The fire of suffering. The English translation says "refined by fire." Personally, I think that expression is ridiculous. It means nothing. It doesn't capture the pain of what it means to be in that place, holding that question in our hands, screaming for an answer. The FIRE of suffering. That's what it feels like, doesn't it? Slowly burning to death. And no one else even knows there's a fire.
But Peter encourages us here to see our suffering in a different light. Don't worry about getting an answer to the question, he says. Instead, take that question to the feet of the One who has planted it in your heart. Don't expect to get an answer - rather, find the discreet joy that comes from knowing that God has planted that question, that suffering. Know that He has allowed it for a reason; that He never wastes any hurt that you endure. That pain has a purpose. It is a test, and it is a marathon.
God wants us to find the hidden joy in our suffering. When I realize that the pain of my deepest question exists solely for my good and for the glory of God, I am comforted beyond any yes/no answer God could give me. It wouldn't help much for God to assure me that one day, I will no longer have this question. How far ahead in the future is the end? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year?.........or in heaven?
No, knowing that it will all be over one day when I die isn't a comfort for today. The comfort and the incredible joy that comes today is knowing that my suffering is the very thing that will lead me to Him. THAT is how we rejoice in affliction. We can even come to a place of THANKING God for our suffering, because He is merciful enough to bestow it upon us and therefore lead us to His open embrace.
"So you rejoice with a great and glorious joy that words cannot express, because you are receiving the salvation of your souls, which is the purpose of your faith in Him."
Thursday, November 16, 2006
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1 comment:
Matt, I'm so glad that you can see suffering in that light. I completely understand what you're saying, and I'm glad you invited me to read your post, which you put so much time, thought, and passion into--I can tell.
As for me, I don't have the personal strength to see past my suffering... I'm blinded by that fire that you're talking about. I pray for God's strength to be my own, but I don't think I'm opening up my heart to it. And I'm reminded every single day how unwanted I am in this household. I'm treated like I'm less than human, like I shouldn't have any feelings about anything. I'm told to my face how glad they'll all be once I'm gone. It's hard to be strong, even when you're asking for God's strength, when you have those daily, even hourly, reminders.
Right now, I can't do what you're talking about... I can't see the hidden joy in my suffering; if you can even call it suffering. I think of Jesus Christ and of Paul and of others who have endured suffering in ways that I can't even imagine, and then I think of my "suffering". It seems almost petty and miniscule compared to what others before me have gone through. And yet they were able to see the bigger picture and a hidden joy in their sufferings. Why can't I?
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