Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Thoughts on the End of the Chapter

There is a definite sense tonight, as I pack my bags and prepare for the arrival of both family members and the insanity that will be graduation ceremonies, that something is very different. That tonight is different, and that the future is different too.

I keep thinking about what it's going to feel like to drive out of Phoenix. Up until this point I didn't really feel like I was done - I felt like I was about to go home for Christmas break. But I think driving out of the city with all my stuff in the car is going to drive the point home that this time I'm not actually coming back.

Half of me wants to savor this time, to soak in it, to write about it, to listen to music that will deepen it and enrich it and make me remember it. And the other half of me just wants to get it over with, skip over it as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid.

As always when it comes to the end of life chapters, there is never quite enough time for it all. There just hasn't been enough time to say last goodbyes to everyone and everything. One thing I want to be sure that I do before I leave is climb up A Mountain one last time and just look out over Tempe and Phoenix. If I can do that, I'll leave satisfied and ready for the next chapter.

Friday, December 7, 2007

The End

I have just finished my last undergraduate final exam. Which means that once I finish this one last assignment for another class, my undergraduate career is, for all practical purposes, over.

The exam went well. However, my dear calculator chose to run out of battery juice exactly as I finished checking my answers. It was like a divine sign, as though my little electronic sidekick - with whom I have been through so much, suffered long, and endured many exams and assignments - decided it was both a poignant and fitting tribute to choose this exact moment to depart for the next world. Wiping away a tear (not really) and with a heavy heart, I slowly replaced his plastic cover and placed him lovingly inside the outer pocket of my backpack.

Now I sit, one last time, in our wonderful business school Starbucks - a place where I have also spent much time and that I will miss dearly in the coming years.

It doesn't feel like my last day in classes or taking tests on campus, although there is a definite quality about this day that is different - one that I can't quite put my finger on but that I know is there. But mostly it just feels like a really slow and relaxed Friday on campus. I'm sure that as the time to leave for Seattle draws closer it will become more obvious that real changes are happening.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

You're such a poser.

I'm in the computer lab on campus right now, waiting for the rest of my study group to get here. Our lab recently upgraded us all from the old, swivel-head iMacs to the brand-spanking-new and über-sexy new aluminum iMacs, which, of course, also run Windows. Although only about 1/4 of the lab is dedicated to these iMacs, every time I come in here there are always 3-4 tools using them to run Windows. I always want to punch those tools in the face and say, "Get out of our section, you poser. This is MAC territory."

It's truly not fair. You know why? Because once you get used to using a Mac - once you've gotten used to that sense of childlike wonder being restored to your life every time you start up your computer - you can't go back to Windows and retain your sanity. So essentially, it is useless to me that 3/4 of the computers in here are Windows, because I can't use them, because if I do I might have to kill someone or myself. And that just wouldn't be good.

So it's not fair that the Windows Posers get to come over here and poach on our Macs. Evil, evil windows posers.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

It's officially getting weird.

Today I bought my cap and gown. It's beginning to sink in that something is happening, but I still don't think it's going to hit me full force until I'm out on the stage and in full regalia with all my friends. I'm starting to feel a little sad, not really because I'm going to miss college so much as sadness for the fact that this stage of life is over. It's always a little sad when you are forced to change in some irreversible way, even if you're looking forward to it.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Thoughts on Opportunity

"Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals - think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want."
-Marsha Sinetar

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully open the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
-Alexander Graham Bell

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving

It was a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner. A colorful salad, wondrous sweet potatoes, fluffy mashed potatoes, succulent stuffing, and the most moist, amazing turkey ever (this year was our first year having an organic, free-range turkey, and in Thanksgiving tradition we referred to him during the preparation process as "Tom the Turkey." Owing to his uniqueness in historical context, he quickly became "Tom the Organic Turkey," and shortly thereafter - my stepfather being unable to resist the temptation of a wonderful near-homonym - was christened "Tom the Orgasmic Turkey.").

And so, with Tom the Orgasmic Turkey fresh out of the oven and sliced into little bits, we all sat down at the gorgeously decorated table - complete with crystal wine glasses, our best china, and even tea lights in front of everyone's plates - to begin the gorging process.

About five minutes into dinner my aunt accidentally spills her glass of red wine across the table and into her brother's lap. Panic ensues and everyone (except me, that is - I have lived with a large family long enough to know when there are too many cooks in the kitchen) springs into action. My mother throws down her napkin and runs upstairs to get a towel, which drops from the landing a few seconds later onto the foyer floor below. My aunt jumps up and attacks the tablecloth with her own napkin. My uncle stands and begins wiping the wine from his (thankfully) black pants. My stepfather lunges at the floor with a bottle of Resolve and the towel previously mentioned. And so, having no duty to fill and with a mouth full of mashed potatoes and gravy, I calmly reach for the salt and pepper shakers resting in front of my mother's plate.

Which is when I notice that her napkin is on fire.

"OMIGOD FIRE!!"

In a moment of weakness for which I shall never forgive myself, I forget every ounce of fire safety training in all those endless elementary school assemblies with Spot the Fire Dog. I instinctively grab the edge of the napkin and fling it skyward and away from the candle flame, transforming it into a flying silk fireball in my left hand. More panic ensues.

Suffice it to say that the house did not burn down and we survived the experience of feasting on Tom the Orgasmic Turkey. Ah, Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

SouthSuck Airlines

So I walk into the airport this afternoon earlier than originally planned for my 7:30 flight to Seattle, all excited to get situated, put my iPod earbuds in, and just chill for 2.5 hours on the plane home. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and taking it out I find a text message from a friend:

Looks like your flight could be delayed. Check southwest.com.

I groan and head over to the Departures monitor. There's my flight, but it looks like we're scheduled to arrive EARLIER than originally planned, by almost a full hour! Woo hoo! I skip over to the checkin and get my bag checked. Then up the escalator, quick phone call home to let the family know I'll be early, and then through security.

Finally I plop down at Starbucks in the terminal, plug in my laptop, and start surfing our free airport WiFi here at SkyHarbor. Checking email, blogs, news, the whole bit. Eventually I decide, just for kicks and giggles, to check my flight status again. Which is when I discovered the oh-so-not-funny truth of things.

I had read the monitor wrong. The time posted wasn't our arrival time. It was our DEPARTURE time. My flight is delayed. At this point it's barely 4:30. Which means I'm going to be stuck in the airport for another four and a half hours.

Surly sip of coffee. Surly phone call home to inform them I'll be in closer to midnight. Surly surfing of web. Surly working on homework stuff.

All I can say is that when I get on that plane and settle into a seat, the captain had better get on the intercom and inform us that he's going to step on it and fly like a bat outta hell into Seattle, getting us in earlier than we're currently scheduled - or so help me, I just might write another surly blog post about it.

That'll show 'em.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

TV will rot your brain, young man. Now turn that off.

Those of you who know me know that I don't watch a whole lot of TV. As a child growing up, television was one of those semi-illicit substances in our household that, for apparent grave health and safety reasons foreign to my six-year-old mind, had to be carefully rationed - much like second helpings of dinner, sugar, and grave-flavored Dimetap. The content of my siblings' and my programming was also, of course, carefully regulated - it was not until sometime in the ninth grade that I, increasingly exposed to the world outside the carefully constructed home nest, became curiously aware that watching an R-rated film would not, in fact, result in my immediate teleportation to Hell.

And so, having had so little exposure to the stuff growing up, it's not surprising that I was largely spared the addiction to all things televised that seemed to afflict so much of the general population.

But then I finished my thesis.

I'm certain that the conniving 60" widescreen HDTV owned by my roommate, proudly occupying a prominent spot in our living room, waited for this precise moment to close in for the kill (prompted, no doubt, by generations of past televisions that had failed to plant an addiction in my fragile little mind). I'm not even sure how the thing turned on in the first place, since the apartment was empty and no one was home (perhaps the television is self-aware?). In any case, (and curiously, considering my lack of TV addiction), I've always been one easily amused by flashing colors and bright, shiny things, and so, in a moment of curiosity as I passed through the living room Sunday afternoon, I sat down on the couch - just for a moment.

Four hours later I was still there - in fact, I was no longer alone, having brought my laptop in and carefully balanced it upon the left couch arm (lest I miss an instant message or email). I sagged in my seat, hindquarters not even technically resting on the couch anymore, the remote resting limply in my right hand.

Those of you who know me well know that I almost never watch television. And when I do, it's rarely for more than an hour. Yet for some reason, since Friday afternoon I have been perfectly content to remain stationary on the couch in front of the boob tube for over six hours at a time, getting up only to use the loo or to fetch sustenance.

This frightens me.

However, I can see why so many people do watch so much TV. There really is an incredible world of insanity out there, all brought conveniently to my living room via satellite and at the literal touch of a button. Among my virtual exploits in the past five days:


1. A seventeen-year-old Southern California girl dent her mother's Audi less than 24 hours after receiving her driver's license, then taken out the next day by her father to pick out her $32,000 BMW 325i (a "good first car"), squealing, "Daddy's going to let me put rims on it and tint the windows! Isn't it cute??!?


2. A man learning how to properly groom a dog, including - and I am not joking - literally squeezing poop out of its butt during the bathing process.






3. Several insanely wealthy Beverly Hills residents getting equally insane (and graphic) plastic surgery operations. Also, the rather touching reconstruction of one 18-year-old Mexican boy's horrific cleft palate and subsequent speech classes.


4. An hour-long special on the History channel musing whether Adolf Hitler might, just might, have escaped Berlin in 1945 and been living in Argentina to this day - then concluded in the last 5 minutes with the comparatively far less exciting reality that, nope, he really did just shoot himself. Also, the confirmation that the Soviet Union really did have Hitler's body all this time, and buried and exhumed it no less than eight times in the decades after the war. Sometime in the 1970s the body was dug up by a KGB agent, cremated (again, ironically), and then dumped into an East German river, where the ashes made their way to the ocean. Russia still has Hitler's teeth and fragments of his skull.

Yes, the past few days have certainly reminded me why I don't watch a lot of television. I suppose that I really should turn the thing off and get back to work - I know I must have some assignment due this week.

I'll do it right after this show.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Dan in Real Life

Saw this movie last night with a couple of friends, and I can only recommend it. I am definitely going to be buying this when it comes out on DVD.

Why? Dan in Real Life is one of those great comedies that is hilarious while at the same time being completely serious and tackling some great character issues. It's the story of - you guessed it - Dan, who is a widower struggling to raise three daughters and caught in the middle of a big family that seems to have nothing but unwelcome suggestions for him. The whole extended family goes on a vacation to the family cabin in Rhode Island, where Dan runs into Marie at a bookstore, a beautiful woman who it's clear from the get-go is the one - and who, to Dan's utter horror when he later returns to the cabin, is actually dating his brother. Add three teenage daughters and a huge, overly-intrusive family. Hilarity ensues.

It sounds like the recipe for a romantic comedy, doesn't it? And some people might characterize it that way - but I think the film shows us Dan's pain as a father and widower too clearly to fit into the stereotypical romantic comedy genre. Steve Carrell proves that he can be as serious as he is hilarious, and he does a fantastic job of communicating Dan's very real and all-consuming struggle to be a father to his daughters as well as fill the void left by his wife's death through the film's awkward situations. The film's romantic and it's a comedy, but I think it draws a distinction between the two really well and stays away from the kitschy, eye-rolling stuff.

It's definitely worth the 7 bucks at the movie theatre, so if you're looking for something to do this weekend, go check it out.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Inevitable Crash


Seattle Winter 2006
Originally uploaded by liquidnight
And so, having finished my thesis, I collapsed into bed early last night and slept for 11 hours. I have not slept 11 hours in a long, long, time. I finally got up late around 10, got dressed, and sauntered over to my favorite cafe, where I proceeded to drink a cup of coffee and nearly fall asleep again on one of their enormous, comfy couches.

Which is where I ran across this photo on Flickr. I love this photo. It makes me miss Seattle. For those of you who have not experienced a Seattle Christmas, I'm sorry to inform you, but your life has actually not been happening all these years. You've been in a sad, sad state of non-living and only after you experience the month of December in downtown Seattle can you start to live.

Winter in Seattle is amazing. We don't get a lot of snow, but we get lots of rain to make up for it, and strangely the rain sort of adds the same mood to a Christmas evening for a Seattlelite that snow would for most other people. We're kind of odd that way.

With Thanksgiving barely a few weeks away, soon it will be time to start playing Christmas music! Can't wait.

'Tis Defended

And I passed.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Ask not for whom the bell tolls...

Well everyone, tomorrow is the big day: the thesis defense. All the months of blood, sweat, and tears (not so much the tears) are about to come to fruition. Tomorrow I will present the thesis to the committee for final review, and discuss their questions and comments. Once that's over it will be time for final revisions based on their input and then (drum roll) the final manuscript will be submitted and forever immortalized in the Barrett archives.

Well, actually I should be more specific - once the defense is over it will be time to head over to Mill Avenue with friends and have several 'adult beverages' in euphoric celebration. Then it will be time for final revisions.

My second reader has brought up some questions and comments that I find a bit difficult to tackle - I've been chewing on them for a couple of days and will definitely need to address some of them in order to make the thesis stronger. He has actually also suggested that I look into getting the case studies I did published, because there isn't much literature on those two subjects out there at the moment.

Tonight I am putting some finishing touches on the presentation and mentally preparing myself. I'm trying to tell myself that it's not going to be a huge deal, that if my committee wasn't going to approve the thesis they would have given me an indication already. I'm still pretty nervous though. I just hope it's over fast!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Album of the Week

THE PERISHERS - VICTORIOUS

Holy friggin crap. Just go out and buy this album, okay? Just do it. Don't wait. It's worth so much more than the $10 you'll pay for it. The Perishers won their place in my favorites list with their melancholy, piano-driven songs from the first album of theirs that I was familiar with, Let There Be Morning. They've become one of my favorite bands, bar none. This album stays true to their sound but gives a bit of a new twist - more guitar, far less melancholy, but still undeniably them. It works. It works really well. Where the last album was the type of thing you'd put on when you were feeling a bit tired, a bit worn out, maybe even a bit hopeless, this album is one you'll put on when you've got a bright optimism for the future (is that a sunrise on the album cover?); it's the sort of thing you'd listen to on an early morning as you walk out the door and into a relaxing Saturday where the entire day is yours. No responsibilities. No worries. Just music and a really good feeling. It's incredible and I can't stop listening to it.

Olympian

Thursday, October 25, 2007

GEICO

Monday, October 22, 2007

It is Finished.

An announcement:

As of 30 seconds ago, I completed the defense draft of my Bachelors thesis. There are a few tweaks left to be done here and there, but on the whole, this thesis is ready for defense.

It is 67 pages long.

Now, pardon me while I collapse in exhaustion.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Final Push

And so here I sit, 10pm on Sunday night, finishing up what should (hopefully) be the defense version of my bachelors thesis. Need to add one more section of meat and potatoes, then the introduction and conclusion. It's coming together nicely, and it looks like by the time I am finished it will be well over 60 pages. Hope those of you who requested to read it when it was finished are looking forward to some heavy reading! ;-)

Tomorrow: handing in the copy to my director for review and possibly the rest of the committee. Then frantic studying for my test on Tuesday, writing a paper that should have been written this weekend, and then giving blood. Even though I've done it once before and it really wasn't bad, the thought of lying there on that table with a needle in my arm is making my skin crawl right now.

Okay, more coffee, here goes! Wish me luck - it's definitely going to be a near all-nighter tonight.

[Drink of the Day: Tully's house blend]
[Currently Listening to: Imogen Heap]

Friday, October 19, 2007

Quotes of the Day

"I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."
-Henry David Thoreau

"It is far better to be alone than to wish you were."
-Ann Landers

"All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone."
-Jean de la Bruyere



Maybe it's because I have been subject to more inquiries about my dating status this week than I have been in my entire life up to this point, but this week the topic of aloneness has been on my mind.

I love being alone. I really do. I need time alone every single day - if I don't get it, I go insane. And the more that I think about it, the more that I conclude that our culture tries to program us never, ever to be alone. We assume that so-called "loners" must have something wrong with them. For some reason we as a collective society seem to believe that there is something awful about having nothing but your own thoughts as your companion. I often wonder if that says something about the quality or content of our thoughts.

Monday, October 15, 2007

CNN, you're totally harshing my mellow, man.

See video here on supposed "teen speak."

If there are indeed teenagers out there referring to dollar bills as "Kraft singles" I want to meet them - just so I can beat the living daylights out of them for using such a ridiculous expression and giving Generation Y a bad name. Honestly. And then I'd beat up CNN for wasting airtime on this ridiculous subject. This is news?

[Drink of the Day: Starbucks tall latte, extra hot]
[Currently Listening to: Not Sensitive, Moby]

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Pomp & circumstance approaches

Today I filed for graduation. I stood in line, waiting to give a woman behind the counter my $60 (dual degrees are expensive), and then I filled out my required graduation survey, which, among other things, asked me the following question:

Overall, how satisfied were you with your undergraduate experience?
a) Very satisifed
b) Satisfied
c) Dissatisfied
d) Very dissatisfied


I'll tell you what I am dissatisfied with: that ridiculous question, that's what I'm dissatisfied with.

So after working through the existential crisis brought about by the sheer terror of trying to figure out whether my undergraduate experience was "very satisfying" or just "satisfying," I completed the survey, filled out some more forms, and turned them in. I was left standing outside the student services building holding two receipts and looking down in bewilderment at my golden honor cords. And all I could think was:

Okay. So....that's it.

What a ridiculously weird feeling.

[Drink of the Day: Einstein's Darn Good Coffee, Global Village Blend]
[Currently Listening to: Glen Hansard, Falling Slowly]

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

At last, I am vindicated

I always told all my friends in high school that Mountain Dew was about the most unnatural liquid substance known to man. I have always been a firm believer that anything that can dissolve a nail within hours (true story, we did a pH experiment in science class) shouldn't be anywhere near my teeth. I told them they were crazy to drink it and that someday it was going to dissolve their tongues out or burn their stomachs or even kill them.

Well, it might not kill them. But it just might make them glow in the dark.

Pictures!

Make sure to check out the new Flickr Photostream over to the right. You can view and download any and all of my photos. I'll be updating this pretty regularly.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Album of the Week

NIRVANA - NEVERMIND

In retrospect, it's an absolute travesty that Nirvana's Nevermind wasn't the very first Album of the Week, considering that this blog is essentially about life in Seattle and this is one of the all-time greatest bands Seattle has produced. Now are you ready for the second travesty?

I've never actually listened to the whole thing.

I know. How dare I consider myself a citizen of Seattle, right? I blame my strict upbringing (even "The Simpsons" was contraband in our household while I was growing up, and I can't even talk about what my parents would have done if I had come home with a Nirvana album, much less one with a naked baby on the front). Well, rest assured, folks, I'm doing what I can to right the wrongs created by my failure to develop good taste in music until college.

[Drink of the Day: No coffee today! Egad!]
[Currently Listening To: Smells like Teen Spirit, Nirvana]

Uncle Jay Explains the News

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Retreat

Honors Devils Fall Retreat - a blast and a figurative as well as literal breath of fresh air - a welcome break from the endless heat and monotony of Phoenix. Camp Tontozona is such a great place - I like it more every time I go.

We left around 5pm and drove up - my car happened to have all of the new recruits, so it was great to get to know them a bit. We definitely picked five great people this semester, if I do say so myself.

The first exciting moment of retreat occurred at the midpoint of the drive, when a very large tarantula crawled out onto the highway in front of our car - I only realized what it was seconds before we ran over it. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure it was positioned between the wheels, so unless another car behind us nailed him (a possibility I cling to) he's still out there procreating and making more ghastly little monsters. I still maintain that I would rather live in a world filled with 25x more insects than deal with spiders of any sort. Surely God could have devised a less repulsive form of population control. Then again, he must have known that doing so would have deprived him and the rest of the car's occupants of the undeniable hilarity of watching me run over a tarantula at 70 miles per hour and then howl in disgust while doing the "Ew-I-just-saw-a-spider-and-now-I-have-the-shivers" dance in the driver's seat like a schoolgirl.

After arriving at camp, it was time to throw the sweatshirts on, breathe the crisp, mountain air, and devour an unholy amount of pizza which we had delivered to the cabin from Pizza Hut. All 16 of us who were on retreat fit into the large Creekside Cabin, which was great and meant that we weren't broken up into smaller groups but spent the entirety of the time together - great team building and bonding time.

When it got dark enough we headed down to the fire pit and built a small fire to sit around and play the obligatory "This-is-an-object-that-represents-me" game. Having forgotten something truly unique, I was forced to use my running shoes (which I was conveniently wearing) as my keepsake and explain what running meant to me. After that it was "most embarrassing moment" time, which Stephanie won hands-down with her story about losing her tube top on a roller coaster and having the ride's camera document the experience in its entirety.

Then we headed down to the field to lay in the grass and look at the stars. It is always so incredible to me when I get out of the city and see the sky at night, filled with billions of points of light. We could even see the Milky Way, which is something never, ever seen within Phoenix city limits. Whenever I see the stars that way - the way they were meant to be seen - I always think about what it must have been like for ancient peoples centuries ago, to be able to see that and be in awe of that all the time. I always resolve to spend more time in the mountains when I get back to Washington.

Literally not 35 seconds after we reached the field to lay down on our backs and look at the stars, the most enormous and bright shooting star I have ever seen in my entire life shot in a yellow-blue bolt across the sky. I honestly thought it was a firework going off at first. It was so incredibly close you would swear you could have touched it.

So we lay down on our backs, all 16 of us, in a huge circle, heads together, talking and laughing and swapping favorite lines from funny movies and TV shows and screaming in unison whenever a shooting star fell across the sky. For me, it was the absolute highlight of the retreat. It was both a wonderful and a sad experience for me - lying there, looking up at the stars with 16 of my favorite people in the world, I suddenly realized that this was the last time I would ever get to do this: the last Honors Devils retreat, the last time at Camp T.

It instantly put a pit in my stomach and reminded me that I'm growing increasingly aware of how quickly college is drawing to a close. Life always has its phases, and there have been lots of them, but school has always been a constant up till now. It's always been there, and the friendships and people that it fosters by association have always been there as well. Facing the fact that those things are about to fade away and be replaced by a much more serious world certainly makes you feel, well, small - especially while looking up at the Milky Way.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Pass the liquid crack, please.

As my third pot (yes, pot) of coffee for today brews, here are some things I think you readers should know.

1. At this moment, it is exactly 11:43pm and I am just now sitting back down to work on my thesis, having finally finished fixing our group case study project almost singlehandedly. Again. Doing so took a grand total of about five hours. In economic terms, those five hours of my life which I shall never, ever have back - and which I will now spend working on my thesis into the wee hours of the morning - are what we refer to as "opportunity cost." There is no better teacher of this particular lesson than sleep deprivation.

2. The time is now 11:47pm, and I just received an email from a group member (see number 1) informing me that we're missing yet another piece of the project. This leaves me in the position of making a choice. Option 1 is to take the chance that said group member will finish this piece tomorrow morning before turning in the project, as promised. Option 2 is to not take that risk and simply do it myself. In economic terms, this is called "hedging" risk. It's usually done in currency trading and is usually expensive. In this case, the cost (opportunity cost!) is more lost sleep. And lost thesis time.

3. I am going to go and pour myself some coffee now while I ask myself why I do these things.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

My Thesis Ate My Dog. And Princess Lea.


See this guy here? I know EXACTLY how he feels. Here we are, fast approaching the end of the weekend, and I have far less to show for my thesis than I would like. There must be some scientific explanation for my incredible ability to accomplish so little in so much time.

My thesis has effectively devoured what small, pathetic vestiges of a social life I had left. I'm enough of a loner as it is; now the only contact I have with the outside world is either the guy behind the counter at Starbucks ("I'm sorry, I must have heard you wrong, sir; I thought I heard you say 'hextuple' shot latte! Haha! . . . You did?") or the pizza delivery man ("Dude, you again? What are you doing in there?").

I have decided that writing and researching a thesis is very much akin to a job feeding Jabba the Hut, primarily because you shovel inordinate amounts of food/crap into the thing and get so little back (except for the stuff that it vomits and/or burps back out at you. That you get to keep for free). And, of course, there's the oh-so-appropriate parallel created by the fact that if you don't give the thesis enough to eat, it most certainly will eat you.

Such a sad, sad existence, this thesis-life. November 2nd can't get here fast enough. All I can say is thank God for RefWorks, which the university gives us all free access to, and which will also hopefully preserve some small portion of my sanity for me to use once this is all over. If not, well, I trust my family and friends to find the nicest of sanitariums for me.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

It's Saturday night. Do you know where YOUR honors student is?

At the library, of course!

Too bad it closes at midnight. I'm on a roll.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Album of the Week

KT TUNSTALL - EYE TO THE TELESCOPE

I bought this album less than 24 hours ago (on Amazon Mp3, no less, where I paid only $9.78 after tax) and I'm already addicted to it. KT Tunstall is one of those artists who is so genuinely talented that you can't help but appreciate her music. It's spunky but also soulful (not surprising since Ella Fitzgerald was an inspiration for her), it's awash in optimism but also punctuated with quiet, acoustic tunes that bring you back down to earth for a bit.

My two favorite tracks are also probably two of her most well-known: "Suddenly I See" and "Black Horse and The Cherry Tree." "Suddenly" is one of those optimistic tracks I referred to and has made it into my "Good Morning" playlist, which Iisten to while riding the bus to campus and reading the newspaper. It's a perfect addition to the wake-up lineup.

"Black Horse" is probably the song you'd recognize from being ridiculously overplayed on the radio a while back. I honestly hated it then, but somehow hearing it in isolation and amid the album that it's meant to be coupled with it just clicks. It's one of those "spunkier" ones I was talking about, with a sort of country-esque vibe to it that makes you feel like you're driving through the desert. It's also the song where the Ella influence shines through most obviously.

Overall, if you have 10 bucks to spare, this album is completely worth it.

[Drink of the Day: Iced Latte]
[Currently Listening to: Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall. Duh]

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Screw iTunes

I'm buying all my music from here on out on Amazon. Mp3 format, no DRM, and you can even find songs for .89 instead of the normal .99. AND obviously because it's Mp3 format you can put it in iTunes or Windows Media Player. And of course your iPod.

I am currently sifting through the $5 CD "bucket" to find some new music. I feel like a kid in a candy store.

P.S. iTunes, I love you, I really do. But Jobso, you better get those record companies to strip off their DRM or mark my words, Amazon is going to beat the pants off of you.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Big Smile

Today: a supremely good day. And that's all I'm gonna say for now.

[Drink of the Day: Starbucks drip w/ room]
[Currently Listening to: "Saving" by Thirteen Senses]

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Library

So like the raging nerd that I am, I'm sitting here in the library on a Friday night trying to be studious and productive. I was all excited about getting some major work done on my thesis and getting a jump on all the crap that I have to do this weekend. I even found an über-comfortable chair and table right next to the big 2-story windows that will let me watch the sun go down as I work. I have my thermos freshly-filled with nice hot coffee. I'm ready to go.

And then I hear this *ding*! And I don't think anything of it. And then 15 seconds later another *ding*! Still don't pay attention. *Ding!*

*DING!* *DING!* *DING!*

The friggin' elevator is opening and closing its doors down here. It's not going anywhere. It's just opening and closing its doors like there's some stupid ghost sitting in there screwing with us.

Anyway, gotta focus. Lots to do. Time to put the iPod headphones in!

*DING!*

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Album of the Week

And for the first time ever, I bring you: the Album of the Week feature. Every week I will highlight a different album or song to maximize your coffee drinking pleasure (or, as my Econ professor would call it, "utility"). These are the tunes that are making my morning, mid-morning, midday, mid-afternoon, evening, or late-evening coffee taste that much better.

This week's selection:

EISLEY - COMBINATIONS

Eisley had, until recently, been one of those bands whose name I was familiar with but about whom I knew next to nothing - until my friend Shannon gave me this album.

While not the sort of thing I can see myself listening to long-term, Eisley's latest album Combinations is a welcome, albeit lukewarm, addition to my extremely eclectic collection of music. They remind me of the Cranberries, with a sort of Euro/Celtic sound that is completely inexplicable given their Texan origin. Come to think of it, why I think they sound European is also pretty inexplicable. Maybe it's the vocal harmonies that remind me of the Cranberries, who of course hail from Ireland. Or hailed. They're broken up now. Naturally.

Anyway, I'd recommend looking them up in the iTunes store and giving their tracks a play to see if you like them. My favorite track is "Taking Control." Until next time.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Holy Hand Grenade

If there is a more hilarious three minutes of cinematic bliss, I do not know of it.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Just Call Me 'The Flash'

Now that the average daily temperatures have dropped to a merciful 97 degrees (anyone else a little chilly?), I have once again taken to jogging outdoors. I was glad to see that our apartment is located about half a mile from one of the city's many canals. The canals are an ideal running route because they usually have an unpaved dirt section on at least one side; thus you can run while admiring the distant mountain scenery, the beautiful desert sky, and the bums who have set up camp on the canal's edge - all while sparing your legs the torture of running on concrete!

Today while running through Little Mexico (the canal forms the barrier between posh Tempe and Scottsdale and the rather run-down, third-world-esque section of the city fondly known as 'Little Mexico'. I run on the Little Mexico side because it's the unpaved side) I noticed a rather large thunderstorm on the horizon. The gathering dark violet clouds made for a beautiful splash of color across the sky (Phoenix sunsets are, I kid you not, the most beautiful in the world). And so I ran along, admiring the sunset, dodging the occasional cockroach and nodding hello at the occasional bum setting up camp.

At the run's midpoint, stopping to stretch, I looked up and realized that the storm, which I thought was moving away, was actually moving in over the valley - straight for me. I could see the huge deluge of rain that the thundercloud was dumping, taking the shape of a rather mushy-looking gray plume extending from the sky down to the ground.

Then the lightning started.

For those of you unfamiliar with desert storms, they are not like storms in the Pacific Northwest. Unlike PNW storms, which are usually characterized by amorphous, pathetic flashes of lightning and loud thunder, desert storms wield often-silent lightning that has no problem reaching the ground in long, jagged bolts of white-hot electricity spread out like tree branches. Being that the terrain is so flat, it doesn't take much to become a lightning rod yourself.

Just to be safe, I decided it was time to start heading home. At a distance of three miles, it would take me some time to get back, so I started jogging along, not too concerned about the storm. I was tired anyway.

About a mile later I could tell I was exhausted and winded. I could also tell that the storm was nearly overhead, its purple mass moving ever closer. The lightning was growing more intense, visible now in the familiar branchlike tendrils, striking whatever it could reach. Still, I was a little unmotivated. No need to worry, I told myself - the chances of getting hit by lightning aren't that high anyway.

And then, as I crossed the railroad tracks near Apache, a bolt of lightning darted down from the sky not a quarter mile from where I stood and struck the ground. I looked up, and the rather uncomfortable realization set in that I was running along with a body of water on one side and a string of unending live power lines on the other - all while listening to an electronic device that was attached firmly to my head.

And suddenly I had all the motivation I needed to take off running again. There's nothing like the surge of adrenaline brought on by the seemingly real prospect of being struck by lightning to push you to set that personal best time.

"Fragile: This End Up!"


Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Break (and Bake?) Point

There comes a point when a man becomes, for lack of a better word, desperate.
That point, for me, was today at 4:30pm while sitting in my favorite coffee shop absently picking at the last bits of the grilled cheese sandwich and salad I had ordered, my thesis materials spread out in front of me.  My laptop sat silently on the table, proudly showing its blank screen to the world.  I was beyond concentration.  I couldn't sit still anymore.  I just couldn't sit and go through these stupid books and articles any longer.
It was time for desperate measures.
I bolted up, throwing my things into my backpack and slinging it over my shoulder.  Tossing it into the backseat of the car, I drove directly to the nearest Safeway and proceeded to buy every single comfort food I laid eyes on, darting up and down the aisles like a crazed person, eyes bulging, snickering with quiet, maniacal glee.
$31 and twenty minutes later, I sit here at my desk, materials spread out in front of me again, a storm rolling in on the horizon outside, and a small plate with what must be a quarter pound of unbaked cookie dough.  And a spoon.   I'm going for it.
Like I said.  Desperate.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Coffeeholic?

Coffee is very much like alcohol - you can never have as much of it at one time as you would like.

Monday, September 10, 2007

New Location

Hi Everyone,
Okay, the new blog is up if not yet running. Email me and I will send you the link. After that you can officially discard this bookmark, because I'm going to shut down this site completely once I've archived the entries I want to keep.

And So It Begins. Again.

Hi Everyone,

So here is my new home on the Internet. I've done some thinking about what I want this to be and I've decided that since my move back to the Pacific Northwest is imminent in a few months (and I won't be going anywhere for at least a couple years after that) this blog will center itself on life in the Seattle area. That includes my exploits in coffee houses, books I'm reading, bands I'm discovering, news I'm reading, etc etc etc.

I'm still debating on the level of personal stuff to include here, but rest assured that posts here in the future will be far more interesting and hopefully more well-written than you regular readers are used to. I'm going for a polished, well-constructed setup here. Another thing you'll all notice is that comment moderation is - for now, and against my better judgment - disabled.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be making changes to this thing throughout the week as I get time. For now, go ahead and update your bookmarks.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Shuttin' er Down

The more that I think about it the less I want my life - personal or not - plastered on some corner of the Internet, regardless of how few people read it.

It's not that I want more attention on this thing - I've been blogging to an audience of probably about four for months now. I just see little point in maintaining a blog that basically only serves as one of those lets-stay-in-touch things when we already have facebook, which serves that purpose extremely well. Family has enough contact with me to not need a blog to read, and for those who only want to pop in and say hello, I see no reason why an email isn't a perfectly good (and far easier) alternative.

What I need is a way to exchange information with people - like links to interesting websites or articles, pictures, my comments on the goings-on in the world, etc - not broadcast my ho-hum do-nothings. Until I figure out how to do that, this blog is on official hiatus. If I do decide to continue anything resembling a blog, it will be under a new address with a completely different purpose and layout, and I will distribute the link to all interested via email. I just know that I am no longer comfortable with the fact that a Google search on me produces something that details my personal or current pursuits. Facebook is big-brother enough as it is.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

All Growed-Up Now

I've been DYING to post about this for almost a week now but I wanted to hold off until the decision was final and everything was signed. In summary:

I got offered a job at Fluke. And I accepted it. And I am so unbelievably stoked.

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that this is now my JOB - in some corner of my mind it always just seemed like graduation would happen and then the world would promptly stop turning as life as I knew it came to an abrupt end. But now I move into a new chapter, one that promises to be even more exciting and filled with far more big milestones.

It's interesting to look back on the whole process and really see God's hand in it, how it all fell into place the way that it did. I'm so grateful that things have turned out the way they have - and I am so happy that I get to move back to Washington and start my career there. There is a whole lotta life coming up in the next two to three years, and I'm excited to see what's in store.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Bus

Today was the first day, having secured my bus pass yesterday, that I was able to take the bus to campus instead of drive. And I really only have one thing to say about it.

Wow.

I am very fortunate in that the bus takes me almost from the door of my condo all the way to the west edge of campus. I got on the bus at 8:15 and 15 minutes later and one changeover, I was on campus. That was actually FASTER than driving, if you can believe that. Even better, it was FREE and AIR CONDITIONED. I had to walk far, far less distance out in the excruciating heat than I do when I have to drive. That alone was a good reason to take the bus.

The one thing that sucked was that I had to stand the whole way inside the bus, which is never very comfortable because you're flying all over the place - but the air conditioning made up for it. Plus, this new bus-commute of mine will double as the perfect time to catch up on the podcasts that I never seem to have time to listen to because they demand my undivided attention.

This is going to save me SO much on gas this semester.

Monday, August 20, 2007

It's Friggin' Hot

I had forgotten, until I arrived in Tempe two days ago, just how unbearably, unbelievably, inconceivably ridiculous it is to be outside when it's 114 degrees Fahrenheit. The air conditioning in the car, predictably, chose this moment to stop functioning at full force. I spent two hours and $130 at Jiffy Lube today getting the freon in the car recharged and still no change - in fact, I can't decide whether there's no change in the cooling level or whether it's even worse now than before. I am torn between writing it off to the weather and just assuming that 110 degrees is just too hot for the car to deal with, or going back to Jiffy Lube and demanding a refund. Probably both.

In the meantime, I spend another $8 on a sunshade for the windshield.

I've also pretty much hit the ground running as far as schoolwork goes. Today was our first day of classes, but mine are only on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I have a free pass until tomorrow. Yet, here I am, sitting in the library (on the first day of classes!) preparing to dive into my thesis again. I can already see what kind of semester this is going to be. Still, I'm looking forward to it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I. Need. Coffee.

Yesterday was a trying day in more ways than one. I slept 10 hours last night and still didn't want to get up when it was time. Downtown Seattle today with my good friend Addy, and then furious packing and preparations for the start of the road trip tomorrow. Busy day, but all the makings of a good one too.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

And that's about all I've got to say about that.

Having survived my presentation to the executives of the company, I set about finishing the rest of the deliverables on my summer project. Yesterday was my last day, and it was a very bizarre feeling to walk out of the building for the last time. Then again, pending an offer from the company it may not prove to be the last time at all. It's been a great summer and I'd be happy to go back.

With the internship complete, I'm now focusing on finishing my other summer projects, including a paper for a course and compiling the thesis research I've done so far. I am further behind on my thesis than I'd like to be, so there's a lot of catching up to be done on that end in the next few days. On Thursday morning I will be hitting the road for Arizona, which I am definitely very excited about.

And that is about all that is on the radar screen right now.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

The Home Stretch

And we move now into the final week of my internship, which includes, among other things, my report-out to the executives on Wednesday and a round of interviews for a permanent position at some point.

Oh, and I have to finish my project too. Hello, 12-14 hour days! Goodbye, sleep!

It's also been decided I'll take the family Dodge down to AZ with me for this last semester. Good news there is that I get to drive down to Phoenix, which I love, and have a car with me for the semester, which means I actually get to go to the grocery store - which means I get to eat. Bad news is that it's the Dodge Durango, which gets an unbelievable 18mpg on the freeway. Why we even bought this car in the first place with mileage like that is so far beyond my comprehension.

So anyway I'll be hitting the road on the 15th, maybe the 16th. Classes start again on the 20th - woo!!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Squeeze the little stress ball, relax, repeat.

After dozens and dozens and dozens of messages sent out on both facebook and craigslist I am still homeless for the fall semester and fast approaching the point of panic. I remain way behind on my thesis and other summer projects, I have only two work weeks left in my internship and TONS left that I want to do before I report to the executives.

In other news, I gave blood last week for the first time ever and

1) It scared the living daylights out of me when the blood-taker guy slid the needle into my arm and joked, "Oh, you're bleeding."
2) I was loopy for most of the afternoon from losing what must surely be 1/8th of my blood supply, which was kind of fun.
3) Filling out the forms they make you sign before donating assuring them you don't have AIDS is much easier when 90% of what they're concerned about ("Did you have 'relations' with a man before 1973?") occurred in a time frame that elapsed long before you were born.
3) It was not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be and I plan on making it a regular habit.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Finalists

Okay folks, after much thought and research - but without a test drive yet - the car search is down to its two finalists:

Volkswagen Jetta


Mazda3

Now, more depressing news:

There is a strong, strong chance I will not be buying a car until December. After thinking about it a bit, it seems that chances are fairly good I'll be able to get by this last semester without a car. And really, waiting until graduation will make the buying experience better because (a) It will feel more like a reward for waiting until I was done with college and had a solid job offer in my pocket, and (b) I will be able to put more money toward the down payment, which translates into a nicer car. And I want this to be a nice car.

So that's it.

Step Into My Cafe.

I am a cafe rat.

You've heard of mall rats - those people that spend every possible waking moment slinking around the mall looking for a new something to buy. Cafe rats are much the same - we slink, we linger, we sulk, we relax in our favorite cafes and consume ungodly amounts of caffeine whilst doing so. And goodness knows we love it. There is nowhere I love to be more than sitting in a nice cafe, sipping coffee, reading a great book or looking out a window at the waterfront.

This has led me to the conclusion that I should someday open a cafe. I wouldn't open one of those ridiculous hippie cafes, though - the kind that I, ironically, spend so much time in - no no. This would be a cafe for business professionals. It would have a clean, Scandinavian-inspired interior decor: dark hardwood floors, sleek, black leather furniture, and - in a departure from that theme for the sake of warmth - large, thick wood tables and chairs. No Bright Eyes or Wilco in the background - instead there would be jazz. Wonderful, relaxing, don't-distract-me-while-I-write-this-white-paper jazz. (I have recently become inexplicably addicted to 98.9, the Sooth Jazz radio station. It's heavenly, seriously, give it a try). We'd also - naturally - serve alcohol in the form of fine wines from all over the world, because (let's be honest here) what business professional doesn't need a drink? It would be outfitted with high-speed wireless internet and even have individual and group work rooms, in case the team wanted to get away from the office for a while and work somewhere a little less suffocating. We'd name it something totally pretentious like The Board Room. It would be wonderful.

For now, though, I am content to sit in someone else's cafe and drink my coffee.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Weekly Dose of Ann

I thought this week's column from Ann Coulter was particularly great. Enjoy!


For six years, the Bush administration has kept America safe from another terrorist attack, allowing the Democrats to claim that the war on terrorism is a fraud, a "bumper sticker," a sneaky ploy by a power-mad president to create an apocryphal enemy so he could spy on innocent librarians in Wisconsin. And that's the view of the moderate Democrats. The rest of them think Bush was behind the 9/11 attacks.

But now with the U.S. government — as well as the British and German governments — warning of major terrorist attacks this summer, the Treason Lobby is facing the possibility that the "bumper sticker" could blow up in their faces.

The Democrats' entire national security calculus is based on the premise that "we have no important enemies," as stated by former senator Mike Gravel. He's one of the Democratic presidential candidates who doesn't know he's supposed to lie when speaking to the American people.

Ironically, the Democrats' ability to sneer at President Bush hinges on Bush's successful prosecution of the war on terrorism, despite the Democrats. It's going to be harder to persuade Americans that the "war on terrorism" is George Bush's imaginary enemy — the Reichstag fire, to quote our first openly Muslim congressman Keith Ellison — if there is another terrorist attack.

So naturally, they are blaming any future terrorist attacks on the war in Iraq.

The Democrats blame everything on Iraq, but their insane argument that we are merely annoying the enemy by fighting back has been neurotically repeated since the failed terrorist bombing in London a few weeks ago. The venue of the terrorists' latest attempt, a hot London nightclub, might even shake up the young progressive crowd. Apparently their soirees are not off-limits, notwithstanding their dutiful anti-imperialism.

In anticipation of their surrender strategy becoming substantially less popular in the wake of another terrorist attack, the Democrats are all claiming that the threat of terrorism was nonexistent — notwithstanding 9/11, the Cole bombing, the bombing of our embassies, the bombing of the World Trade Center, the Achille Lauro, etc. etc. — until George Bush invaded Iraq.

In the past week, B. Hussein Obama said the war in Iraq has made us more vulnerable to terrorist attacks. Americans are "more at risk," he said, "and less safe than we should have been at this point." We would be safer with "better polices" — such as, presumably, Bill Clinton's policy of pretending Islamic terrorists don't exist and leaving the problem for the next president.

Hillary Clinton said we need to start "reversing our priorities. Let's stop sending troops to Iraq and let's start insuring every single child." Yes, that should put a good healthy scare into the insurgents. "Run for your life, Ahmed! All American children are getting regular checkups!"

Sen. Chris Dodd miraculously straddled both arguments — that the threat of terrorism is a fraud and that the Iraq war had increased its danger. He said "al-Qaida is insurgent again" because we've "turned Iraq into an incubator" for jihadists. But simultaneously with warning of a terrorist attack, Dodd also said he was "more skeptical than I'd like to be" of the Bush administration's warning of a terrorist attack. Damn that Bush! He's inflamed an imaginary enemy!

As with the Democrats' claim that the greatest military in the world is "losing" a war with camel-riding nomads, the claim that the war in Iraq is what created our terrorist problem — a terrorist problem that began about 30 years ago — has entered the media and is now stated as fact by the entire Treason Lobby.

CNN correspondent Suzanne Malveaux matter-of-factly reported this week: "President Bush says the central front in the war on terror is Iraq. But when the U.S. first invaded the country almost five years ago, al-Qaida had very little presence. But the intelligence report says that has changed. Al-Qaida not only has become a dangerous threat, the intelligence community expects the terrorist group will use its contacts and capabilities there to mount an attack on U.S. soil."

Say, wasn't the attack of 9/11 an "attack on U.S. soil"? How could that have happened since we hadn't invaded Iraq yet? What a weird aberration. How about the attacks on our embassies in Kenya and Tanzania? How about the 1993 World Trade Center bombing? The taking of our embassy in Tehran?

Another CNN correspondent, Ed Henry, followed up Malveaux's report with the somber news that "the president was warned before the war in Iraq that if you go in and invade Iraq, you're going to give al-Qaida more opportunities to expand its influence."

Similarly, Hitler and Goebbels never had much to say about the United States — not, that is, until we started fighting them!

But as soon as we entered the war — taking the bait of Hitler's declaration of war against us, which Democrats are urging us to avoid falling for in the case of al-Qaida — Hitler began portraying FDR as a pawn of the Jews. Soon posters started appearing in Germany showing the United States as a country run by Jews and Negroes. Fake dollar bills with the Star of David were air-dropped over Paris.

According to the Democrats' logic, FDR's policies made the United States less safe. Had Germany attacked us at Pearl Harbor? No. Was Hitler able to use America entering the war as a recruiting tool? Yes. Fighting the enemy always seems to make them mad. It's as plain as the nose on your face.

Democrats think they have concocted a brilliant argument by saying that jihadists have been able to recruit based on the war in Iraq. Yes, I assume so. Everything the United States has done since 9/11 has galvanized the evil people of the world to fight the U.S. In World War II, some Frenchmen joined the Waffen SS, too. And the good people of the world have been galvanized to fight on the side of the U.S. The question is: Which side are the Democrats on?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I Need a Room. And a Car.

As the search for fall semester housing reaches a fever-pitch, work also is getting stepped up a notch. I have 3.5 weeks to finish my project before my presentation to all the executives, so it's definitely crunch time. I am confident I'll have some good results to show at the end though.

In other news, chances are good that I will be buying a car within the next month. The trouble is that I have no idea what TO buy. There is a constant balance to be struck between the car that I would LIKE to buy and the car that I feel I OUGHT to buy for practical reasons. Consider this: is it worth it to sacrifice 5-10mpg fuel economy for a car that is more fun to drive? Or how about this: would you rather have a car that bores you to tears and, statistically, is a MAGNET for break-ins and theft but has excellent reliability and low cost of ownership; or a car that makes you smile but only has good reliability and slightly higher costs? It is becoming painfully evident that one cannot, in fact, have it all. And so the debate rages on. Advice is welcome.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Hot Enough for Ya?

Never before has Uptown Espresso been this busy, even on a Saturday. I got the last seat in the house, which also happens to be the seat closest to the open doors, so there is a breeze coming in from outside.

We have had record heat in Seattle this past week I believe it was Wednesday that we hit an unbelievable 98 degrees. 98 DEGREES. In SEATTLE. For those of you who do not live here, let me tell you that 98 degrees in Seattle is far, far worse than the hottest of days in Arizona because we have 70% humidity all the time. It's brutal.

This weekend is - mercifully - much cooler, although still warm. The iced coffee I am sipping as I sit here helps.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Stupid Intersections.

“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”
-1 Timothy 6:9-11


Life rarely comes with T-intersection type decisions. They're more like very, very narrow Y-intersections - subtle forks in the road that don't look like they're much different at first glance (maybe the roads intersect up at that next bend?) but that, in reality, can mean the difference between life and death. And I'm not talking about physical, literal life and death. Every so often, one of those subtle forks in the road emerges on your metaphorical walk through life's metaphorical forest. You know that feeling?

That's about how I feel these days.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Quote of the Day: Independence Day Edition

"Nothing of importance happened today."
-King George III of England in his diary on July 4, 1776

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Next Next Step

As my undergraduate career races toward its terminus (I love that word), I've begun doing quite a bit of thinking about the next step. Obviously the first LOGICAL step is a job. That's a given, and that will be taken care of (Lord willing) by December. But after that, there's the NEXT next step:

Grad school.

And of course this begs the obvious question: grad school WHERE? Much to the dismay of literally my entire family (they try their best to be excited for me, God bless 'em, but there's a reason no one in our family has ever gone into acting), I am more than slightly interested in pursuing graduate schools in Germany. Actually, "slightly interested" is a bit of an understatement.

"Hell-bent" might be more appropriate.

Yes, it's that time of life again: the frenzied application filling-out, the applying for scholarships, the essay writing, the interviews, the crazy research....it's going to be like applying for undergrad all over again. Only way more stressful. And with the added excitement/terror factor of a move to a foreign country. Again.

But darn it if that isn't what makes it one heckuva kick in the pants.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Your Tax Dollars at Work, Seattle.

After cooking a fabulous, tasty dinner of chicken alfredo with caesar salad and pouring myself a generous glass of chilled chardonnay, I sat down on the couch, plate balanced on my knees, and clicked on the television. I swished the dry, autumn wine around in my mouth, savoring the tingle on my gums, as the image of the government-sponsored Seattle Channel and a man at a podium lit up the screen.

I swallowed when I read the caption below the man speaking.

Christopher Hitchens, Author: God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

I chewed salad slowly as I turned up the volume to listen.

"...and I quite nearly became a 'believer' recently," the man sneered, his British accent elevating the haughty tone of his voice, "when I was informed that the Good Lord had delivered me the death of Jerry Falwell this last month."

The audience roared with laughter. I stopped chewing.

"I was particularly overjoyed to find out," Hitchens continued with a smirk, "that Mr. Falwell was discovered sprawled on the floor of his office." More laughter. "And if I may take this moment to say what I really think of him, may I suggest that his family spare the expense and bury him in a f-cking shoebox." His mouth spread into a thin, triumphant grin.

My jaw fell open as the audience exploded in raucous applause, whistling, and cheering.

Such is the state of public television in America today. Such is the content which your tax dollars are directly funding. And such is the hatred, bigotry, and utterly stupefying hypocrisy that is not only condoned, but MADE POSSIBLE and BROADCAST by this City of Seattle - a city that supposedly celebrates "diversity."

Monday, June 18, 2007

And The Thesis Begins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE A THESIS DIRECTOR!! I HAVE A THESIS DIRECTOR!!!! I HAVE A THESIS DIRECTOR!!!

I!!!
HAVE!!!!
A!!!
THESIS!!!!
DIRECTOR!!!!!!

I LOVE MY DIRECTOR AND MY TOPIC AND NOW I CAN START RESEARCH FOR REAL!!!!!!

*collapses into exhausted happiness*

After only being able to sleep 2 hours last night due to insomnia and slogging through a day at work, it SO FREAKIN' MAKES MY WEEK TO GET THIS NEWS!!!!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Mooooooooovies

Today I added six new DVDs to my collection for the great price of $25. One of my coworkers was selling off all of his DVDs and he had an unbelievably extensive selection. I bought:

Signs
The Family Man
U-571
Gettysburg
Men of Honor
Babel

I've never seen Babel, but for $4.25 a pop I'm willing to buy it before I see it - heck, it'd be more expensive to rent it. I'm trying to round out my collection a bit - I have waaaaaaay too many war movies. Obviously there are a couple there in the list, but hey, first of all, Gettysburg is part of American history. Second, I originally wanted Bruce Almighty instead of U-571 but it was already taken, so what the heck.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

An Open Letter to the Christian Girls of the World from One of the Christian Guys of the World

Ladies,

I hope you know what it is we Christian Guys put up with while we're waiting for you. See, we Christian Guys believe firmly that you're worth it - which is why we're not out at the bars and clubs on Friday night chasing random girls. We believe you - and we - are better than that. We believe that real, worth-it relationships don't come easy and that they start with more than a couple of beers and cover charge for the night. We believe that we're more likely to find you sitting a few rows up in front of us at church or at the neighborhood coffee shop than we are out on the town. We're willing to wait, because we want to stay faithful to you, both now - before we've even met you - and in the future.

And I hope you know that believing those things comes at a huge cost for us. You have no idea what a humiliating price of pride we pay as men when we won't do those things that our culture tells us men ought to do. But like I said, we believe you're worth it.

We know it's tough on your end too. There's a lot of pressure for you to look a certain way, to put yourself out there a certain way, to conform to some vague concept of what society tells you a woman should be. We just want you to know: we like you the way you are. We think you're beautiful the way you are. And we want you to stay the way you are until we find you, because we know that we finally do find you there are going to be some serious fireworks, and we're dying to for it to happen. We know that anything the world could cook up for us can't compare to the fullness of what God has in store for those who wait long enough.

So ladies, hang in there. We're right there with you, and we hope you're right there with us. Be patient with us - because I promise you, we're well worth the wait, and so are you.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Summer Summarized

Alright folks, not a whole lot new to report here. Basically, to save us all some time, and all of you a lot of reading, here is a breakdown of my weekdays for the entire summer:

1. Get up. Wish that I could sleep longer.
2. Shower and get dressed.
3. Drive to work.
4. Work for 8-10 hours.
5. Drive home from work. Wave fist at idiot drivers from California mugging up the freeways.
6. Eat something.
7. Read, watch tv, go for a run, check email, blogs, etc, or hang out in coffee shop reading until 10:00. Wish I had more time to do other practical things like read the newspaper or work on my thesis.
8. Go to bed.
9. Rinse and repeat until Friday.

Saturdays and Sundays will consist largely of doing the things I didn't get to do on the weekdays, namely, catching up on pleasure reading and working on my thesis, as well as working on my summer reading and term paper (yes, I have a summer term paper, long story, and NO, I did NOT fail a class!).

So with that, like I said - not a whole lot new to report. The internship is going as well as I can reasonably expect it to with this being my 3rd week. I am looking forward to changing to a different project than the one I am working on right now, and anxious to learn some new stuff. You can only rework a process for so long before it slowly starts to drive you insane. Fellow SCM majors (if indeed there are any of you who read this), you know what I'm talking about.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

What IS it with this Tully's?

I am sitting in Tully's Coffee in downtown Seattle on 4th & Union. At the table next to me are two Germans, chattering away about their weekend plans. This is the second time in as many visits to this location that I have heard Germans speaking German - and judging by the accent, they're from Schwabenland. And, for the second time in as many visits, I am way too chicken to say anything to them. What IS it with this Tully's and my stupid fear of speaking German in the United States?

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Happy Day

It has been a fantastic day from start to finish.

Work absolutely FLEW by. I had no idea where the time had gone. I've gotten more comfortable at work as well - comfortable enough to joke around with coworkers a bit and losing the fear of asking questions more day by day. Tomorrow is Friday already and then next week we jump into the first kaizen blitz, which will be very busy but I think also very rewarding. My roommate for the summer also showed up on Wednesday evening, and he is awesome. We get along great and also have similar interests.

After work today a bunch of people from the company all met up for happy hour, and I was so glad that my roommate and I went. It was a great chance for both of us to meet some new people from the organization, talk to the ones we already knew in a more social setting, and just plain relax. It's amazing how people open up when they get around a table with a couple of beers. :-) We were there nearly 3 hours, and by the time we left I was loving my job simply because I knew the people better and could get excited about some of the opportunities this company affords.

Then we both drove home. The sun was already down, but the sky was still a beautiful shade of light purple/blue, that soft, gorgeous color of blue that only the Pacific Northwest sky can get at dusk, like the color of the sky above the clouds from an airliner as the sun sets. The air was clear and warm, and I drove with the sunroof open and the windows down. Just as I cleared Northgate on I-5 and headed over the bridge, downtown Seattle came into view, beginning to sparkle as lights came on in the towering buildings. The Space Needle glistened like a platinum hourglass against the sky, and the Olympic Mountains formed the perfect indigo backdrop to the dark blue waters of Elliot Bay.

I looked out over that beautiful view, inhaled deeply, taking in the crisp, salty evening air, and sighed with contentment. This is why I came back, I thought to myself. It's going to be a good summer.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Twentysomething

Having recently and once and for all firmly crossed over the amorphous milestone that marks the beginning of the "twentysomething years," I find myself spending a lot of time these days thinking about just what it is that these years of life are supposed to mean. What they're for.

The twentysomething years, I think, are both a blessing and a curse. You're finally a full-fledged adult, able and required to do all the things that adults can and must do. You're able to structure your life, your job, and your relationships in any way you please. But at the same time you also feel the urge brought on by the youth in these years - namely, the urge to avoid all of the above "adult" things like the plague. You realize that - gasp - you really ARE growing up, and fast. Suddenly it's apparent that you'd better cram in all the fun and carefree adventures you didn't have as an irresponsible teenager, because in less than a decade you too will be married with children and a mortgage and taxes and a job and most likely shackled to one geographic location.

Maybe that's the reason I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to go back to Germany these days. It seems that over the past week or so all I've been able to do is daydream about how wonderful it would be to literally pack up and move there - for a long time. Sharing this thought with my mother, the following conversation took place:

Mom: You can't go back to Germany.
Me: Why not?
Mom [only half-joking]: Because. You have to find a nice girl and get married.
Me: They have girls in Germany too, mom.
Mom: I know. That's exactly the problem.

(Perhaps this is also a convenient time to mention that one of the other unnerving developments that comes with the early twentysomething years is the terrifying barrage of questions from every conceivable family member about one's current, up-to-the-minute marital status. I strongly suspect that if there are hormones or chemicals released into the brains of early twentysomethings that encourage behaviors of independence and freedom, there are equally lethal hormones and chemicals released into the brains of said twentysomething's elders that produce within them the irresistable desire to ensure the survival of the family name as swiftly as possible.)

That said, i continue to toy with the idea of moving to Germany in December, Lord willing. There are many benefits to such a move, which I will have to enumerate later and in some other post because it's now 11pm and therefore my bedtime. (Yes, even twentysomethings have a bedtime.)

Sunday, May 27, 2007

It's the Weekend

I was, to put it very, very mildly, absolutely ecstatic about the end of this last week and the beginning of this weekend. Right now I am not enjoying my job. All day I feel like an absolute retard because half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I've walked into a room, and someone has handed me a puzzle box and said, "Put this puzzle together." Only there's no picture on the box to guide me and the pieces are scattered all over the floor. I set about trying to collect them, understanding them as individual pieces but having little to no idea how they fit together. All the while I'm terrified that when the moment of truth comes I'll be left standing there like a clueless idiot, clutching a piece of the puzzle and mumbling, "Well, this one looks like it's a corner."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Matthew comes home every night and pours himself a very, very large glass of wine.

On a happier note, I had a chance to meet up with Kyla today and reminisce a bit about Tübingen and Germany. Dwelling on Germany is just about the happiest state I can put my mind in, so much so that I have recently decided that come December I will be applying for positions in Germany as well as the United States. I can definitely see myself packing up and moving over there completely at this point, but of course that all depends on the job offers I end up with.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The First and Second Day

So for those of you wondering, the internship is going okay. And I do mean just "okay" because I'm definitely still at that deer-in-the-headlights stage where you're getting used to everything and figuring out how things work around there. I honestly hated my first day and felt totally useless and awkward the whole day, but today was better. I've just never had a job that was so hands-on and where I am allowed to just "go to it" and do whatever it takes to solve the problem - I'm used to having to ask permission or have someone guide me, so there is definitely still some panic at this stage.

However, I am quite excited about my first assignment: to redesign the reworking/refurbishing area of the factory floor so that less inventory is tied up in refurbishing, with the end result that inventory is processed through that department within 48 hours and the amount of in-process inventory is reduced to around $100,000. For comparison, currently there is $1.5 million of inventory in this department and there are some pieces that have been there for over a year. Yes, you read that right: million. I have to get rid of $1.4 million of inventory. No easy task - but I am ready for the challenge and looking forward to it, although it's extremely unnerving not having a 100% clear idea of how I'm going to get there.

Tonight after work I went for a jog in Myrtle Edwards park, which is RIGHT on the water by downtown Seattle. I have never seen such a great view. It's 10,000x better than the waterfront in Tacoma because you've got that gorgeous Seattle skyline AND Mount Rainier staring you in the face.

Speaking of things I do after work, I have come to the conclusion that if I am to actually take the time to cook and eat healthy dinners, I have approximately 1.5-2 hours to myself after work each evening - and that's a stretch. My days right now literally consist of waking up at 6am, going to work, coming back from work 12 hours later, cooking and eating something, maybe having 1 hour to do whatever (during which time I am - surprise - working), and then collapsing into bed at like 9:00pm because I'm so exhausted. Where did all my energy go? How am I so tired after just being in an office all day? I suppose it's probably mostly the mental stress from not having the slightest clue what it is I'm doing most of the day, and hopefully that will go away. And hopefully I will find ways to go without more sleep, because I do not think I can handle a 10pm bedtime every weekday for the whole summer.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Real Apartment

So allow me to give you all the short story on the apartment situation here, now that I can actually laugh about it.

The amazing top-floor apartment with a bay and Space Needle view I was telling some of you about while I called you in the midst of excitedly wetting my own pants? Yeah, it's actually not ours. They gave me the wrong keys when I checked in. Our real apartment is nice, although it is on the ground floor - quite the contrast, but there are several perks I have discovered in the roughly 18 hours I've spent in this place, including the much more comfortable bed and better kitchen appliances (I know, I'm reaching, but seriously, they are better).

So in celebration this morning I made a big and delicious breakfast, including eggs, bacon, yoghurt, a bagel with cream cheese, juice, and of course, coffee.

Today is also my last day of freedom before I start my internship tomorrow. I am both nervous and excited, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect when I show up tomorrow.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Cold War Reflections

I am finishing up what is probably one of the best books I've read this year: The Cold War by John Lewis Gaddis. If you are even remotely interested in history, especially the Cold War period, you have GOT to buy - yes, it's worth owning - this book. It's so well-written and it's just fascinating.

Obviously, as I near the end of the book, Lewis is discussing the events of the revolution of 1989 - all of the events and coincidences and blunders that led to the overthrow of socialism in Europe and the fall of the Berlin Wall. It is extremely moving to read about all of this - what an extraordinary time in history! And I was alive for it - albeit only four years old.

My generation was born at a truly incredible turning point in the history of the world. We are the generation of the fall of the Wall - the generation that came into the world just as everything our parents and grandparents had fought for was coming to fruition.

We were born into an age when the world - for all its flaws - entered an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity. As we toddled around and entered school as first-graders, the Soviet Union - the "evil empire" of the Reagan era - finally collapsed into itself as the world heaved a sigh of relief. As we grew up, the memorials, statues, administrative centers, and power structures of the communist parties were abandoned, fell into disrepair, and were even torn down.

One such administrative center is the Palast der Republik (Palace of the Republic) in the former East Berlin. Once the center of the Socialist Unity Party that controlled East Germany for 40 years, this building had decayed into a dilapitaed, graphittied, and sad shadow of its former self, standing wealkly in the midst of now-restored East Berlin. It seemed to project a sense of loss, as if the building itself knew that its time had long since come and gone, and that it was despised even as it stood there, rotting away. I'll never forget standing there and looking at it from across the street, taking pictures of its rust-colored windows.

While I was in Germany in 2002, plans were finalized to tear it down and rebuild the former City Palace of Berlin that had originally stood in its place. Reaction was mixed - many were glad to hear the building would go, some were sad to see what had evolved into a historical reminder and monument being destroyed. I was somewhere between the two. Last year, at the end of my year abroad in Tübingen, the Palast was finally torn down once and for all.

The symbolic nature of that act is curious to me - here we are, the world, moving into an era of globalization that is more pronounced and widespread than ever before, where exchange of ideas and information occur instantly and at almost no cost, and the final vestiges of the Cold War world are slowly being erased and free markets and democratic ideals take root in more and more places. It's the end - and the beginning - of an era, and we're here to watch it all unfold. That is so unbelievably cool.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Screen Name Change

My screen name has changed, so please make sure you check my Facebook profile to get the new one and update your buddy lists. If you are not on Facebook, then I need to tell you that
(a) you are a huge loser and need to get on Facebook immediately so you may come out from the rock you have no doubt been residing under, and
(b) if you still won't join Facebook, just email me and I'll give it to you.

Get Your Veg On

Not much new to report over the past few days. My internship starts on Monday, and speaking of that, I have to go downtown today for a drug test. This will be a new experience. There is definitely a certain degree of humiliation in just being required to do something so......well, humiliating. I mean I understand that it's required for everyone and all, but still - one definitely feels degraded in some way when you're told you have to go and pee in a cup so that they can make sure you're not on pot or Lord knows what else. Honestly. Apparently, though, this is common practice even for the biggest service-sector companies. I guess it's just a sad testament to the times.

Yesterday, though, was a good day. I had the car for the day while mom was at work, so I spent a couple hours reading at Starbucks. It was so nice to be able to sit there with a book and coffee and not have anything else hanging over my head - no assignments to work on, no papers to write, no projects to complete. I'll do more of the same later today and hopefully finish this great book on the Cold War that I'm currently reading.

Today, aside from this stupid drug test, I plan on working on my thesis abstract and also maybe my application for the Bundestag scholarship program. We'll see. I only have a few more days of freedom before I'm going to be working all day, so I'm trying to get my veg on while I still can.

I move into the new apartment on Friday. Very excited. The weekend will no doubt be spent re-discovering downtown Seattle as well as our neighborhood in lower Queen Anne.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Home

Back in Seattle. Finally. Road trip was good. And that's about all I have to say about it for now....I need sleep.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Convocation

The room is finally - finally - packed. It took the entire day, but everything is ready to go, stuffed into some suitcase, box, or bag and ready to be heaved into what I can only hope is a very large sedan tomorrow morning.

Tonight was convocation for the honors college. I cannot describe how it felt to sit in the audience and watch my class graduate without me - their names, degrees, and thesis titles read off one by one. Handshakes with professors and hugs and smiles. I felt oddly detached. It wasn't so much a feeling of loss or a feeling that I should be up there with them - I knew that this would be the price of a year in Germany from the start, and willingly made that trade - but it was the stranger feeling that I was simply out of place, an outsider, that I no longer belonged to what used to be a family of sorts for me. This feeling was only intensified when the ceremony ended and everyone flooded out into the hall, converging with parents and friends, leaving me to wade through a shifting sea of people all josting to get pictures with their graduate. I have never felt so alone amongst so many people before, and it was then that it really hit home that it's all over and done.

If nothing else, it was worth it to see the smiles on my friends' faces and the triumph and pride that they were radiating. I was, by the grace of God, able to enjoy the night for what it was - a celebration of their accomplishments - and to be truly, honestly, deeply happy for and proud of them. They are amazing, each and every one.

After congratulating and saying goodbye to those friends I was successful in finding, I slowly walked home, soberly aware that, in many cases, watching my friends walk across the stage tonight was the last time I will ever see them.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Sweet Freedom

My supply management final is now officially over and I've officially submitted my take-home final for logistics, which means that with the exception of my geography final this evening (which will be a walk in the park), I am now DONE with finals.

*confetti*

Now that finals are essentially over, we move into the next season of the end of the academic semester, namely: the anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive checking of our online grade postings every hour to see if our final grades have been posted yet. It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

With finals now basically out of the way, I am left to continue packing up the room. I took apart my bookshelf yesterday, which was a smart move considering the sheer amount of stuff that it looks like I'm going to be cramming into the rental car on Thursday morning.

I'm also beginning to realize how grueling of a first day on the road it's going to be. 13 hours of driving is a hefty task considering that I'll probably be exhausted from all the packing/loading/end of semester goodbyes and such, but I am confident that with the help of my trusty sidekick Mr. Caffeine it's totally doable.

The clock is ticking until 10:00pm on Wednesday, which is bedtime and hence the cutoff for all goodbyes and hanging-out times. I need lots of sleep Wed night so I can be refreshed and ready to go on Thursday morning.